


Jukebox Blues

by Ziane



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Drinking, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Poker, Pre-Canon, Sex, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Sparring, canon AU, shega
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-14 07:49:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13003158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziane/pseuds/Ziane
Summary: A 19 years old James Vega had enlisted a year ago and was currently on the ICT working his ass off training twenty hours a day. He wanted to become the best of best in the Alliance and this was the place to start. His dream was to become an N7, but he had a long way ahead from being just an N2 himself. When he heard that Shepard, an N5, awarded the Star of Terra, was going to be on the same base as him, a chill ran through him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> James Vega and Shepard happen to meet at the Interplanetary Combatives Academy in Rio de Janeiro between 2177 and 2180 while they are both attending the N-school program.
> 
> Thank you so much to @barbex for beta-reading this <3

The news was getting around quickly at the Villa Militar in _Rio de Janeiro_. The N5 marines were arriving at the facilities in the afternoon to begin their N6 training, and they would be staying there until they completed it. At the N-school, or “the villa” as the trainees called it, took place the Interplanetary Combatives Training (ICT), which is the Alliance’s main training program. It held every branch of Earth’s militaries: engineers, infiltrators, soldiers, and biotics. Every specialization had its own training and it would be reflected in the vocational codes of the trainees until the end of their military career. The internal designation went from N1 to N7 and included ground training and off-planet incursions, anything to uplift the young recruits so they could become the best Alliance marines they could aspire to. The highest ranks as N6 and N7 provided actual combat experience in conflict zones throughout the galaxy and the trainees had to survive these scenarios in “admirable and effective fashion” to finally receive the N7 designation, the highest and most respectable rank you could reach as an Alliance marine.

A 19 years old James Vega had enlisted a year ago and was currently on the ICT working his ass off training twenty hours a day. He wanted to become the best of best in the Alliance and this was the place to start. His dream was to become an N7, but he had a long way ahead from being just an N2 himself. When he heard that Shepard, an N5, awarded the Star of Terra, was going to be on the same base as him, a chill ran through him. He couldn’t hide his excitement and gossiped with his friends about the young woman.

“And she is only twenty-two?” Harry asked surprised.

“Twenty-three,” James interrupted, “and already commended for a Star of Terra for Elysium.”

“I bet she’s a mean grunt”, Gilly stated with a pout all over her face.

James laughed. “I wouldn’t say that to her, just in case.”

“Well, I don’t think we will see much of the N6 around here, they will go out on drills very often, besides, they won’t like to mix themselves with N-low-shits like us.” Harry moved uncomfortably, tired of standing around.

“But we will see them at the mess and around here,” James hoped, “probably work with them in some way as part of our training.” James was beyond excited at the idea and couldn’t stand still. He didn’t want to look like a fanboy, but it was exciting to be with new N6 trainees and to learn from them. And Shepard, let’s not forget Shepard would be there.

“What did she do to win a Star of Terra in any case?” Gilly asked James.

“She single-handedly held off an assault of batarian slavers on Elysium a year ago,” James told her.

“Bah,” Harry debated, “she was a trained soldier by then, she just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

“Not at all. She was on shore leave on Elysium when it occurred. She organized an armed resistance and curbed the enemy long enough for the reinforcements to arrive,” James elaborated, clearly excited.

“Damn, she must be something,” Harry said while Gilly rolled her eyes at him.

“I bet she is,” James agreed and high-fived his friend.

Everyone was looking forward to the N6 members’ arrival, several groups of trainees waited outside, at the enclosed area of the facilities, for the shuttle to arrive. The villa was huge, a lot of buildings perfectly organized for all the N trainees. The N 1 to 4 had to share dorms with ten people while the N5 and 6 had double rooms to share. The facilities had classrooms for tactical, medical and tech training; a well-equipped gym with a sparring ring -this was James’ favorite place- and the mess hall, a big open space with tables where they had all their meals. The military life was controlled by routine and hard work to make sure you fell asleep exhausted in your bed every night. You got used to it quickly.

Friday nights were the fun time in the villa, the recruits usually gathered together at the Hot Bird, a local roadside bar with enough alcohol and music to make them forget about the military training. The place was a dump, but it felt like a second home. Fridays were also when James organized his little poker nights, as long as Commander Aller didn’t find out. He loved to play poker and he was damn good at it, but lately, he just organized the gigs and made sure everyone behaved.

James thought about Shepard and the vids he had seen about her. She even had recruit propaganda, the Alliance really liked its new hero, and didn’t waste a chance to show her off. But who was she really? A soldier just like the rest of them? He had this idealized image of her in his head, and a hint of fear crossed his mind wondering if it was just that, an illusion. Some murmur in the crowd interrupted his thoughts, and he tapped a hand on Harry’s shoulder to draw his attention.

“Hey, what’s going on?” James asked him.

“They say they’re about to arrive and that they’re coming back from a skirmish near the Skyllian Verge,” he quickly told him.

James opened his eyes wide. “They’re gonna be worn out. Did something go wrong?”

“There have been casualties,” he sounded worried, trying to decipher what some other group was discussing and informing James at the same time. “Something about batarian pirates that they weren't expecting, and the whole thing went sideways.”

“How many casualties?” James frowned. “Do they know who?”

A shuttle crossed the sky and started descending. The mass effect field of its engine hoisted a cloud of dust and dirt that made everyone cover their eyes as the shuttle finally landed. A metallic noise startled some of them as the shuttle’s door opened. James narrowed his eyes and fixed his look at the darkness inside of the transport, trying to get some information. There were about twenty young recruits there to welcome the N6 squad. He could feel the thrill under his skin.

People started to pour out of the shuttle, four guys in full armor came out first with an earnest expression on their faces. James really wanted to be one of them, to come back from combat just like them, in full armor, dirty and tired from battle. That’s why he was here, enduring the training and the military life. It wasn’t easy for a young man like himself to give up so many things in his life to become a soldier, but he was sure this was exactly what he wanted. Two more soldiers left the shuttle as they were dispersing between the people and heading to the armory, carrying their weapons. James’ heart was pounding, but he didn’t see Shepard.

_Was she one of the casualties? It couldn’t be._

He recognized Captain Barnes, who was arguing with one of the soldiers and then, he saw a brown-haired woman coming out of the shuttle by his side. It was her. Shepard. James felt nervous as he watched her attentively while she stepped out of the shuttle and closed the door, hitting it twice with her fist to let the pilot know everyone was deployed. The shuttle took off and buried her in a wave of dust as she covered her eyes with her forearm.

James just stood there, looking at her with both his hands in the pockets of his fatigues and a stupid grin on his face. She was wearing a set of heavy armor that looked made just for her. She was covered by dust all over, and some of it stuck on the sweaty skin of her face. Her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail that wasn’t doing its job very well at this point, as pieces of her hair fell free, shaping her face.

“Hey, James. I’m leaving. I ate enough dust for one day,” Harry told him, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Okay, see you later, Harry.”

He didn’t look at him. James was only looking at her. Shepard’s face was steady and harsh. He took notice that she had her left arm hugged to her body like she wore a sling. _Did she get hurt?_ he thought. She was still talking to the Captain, her attitude angry and cocky. Captain Barnes barked at her to go to the infirmary and finally left her standing there, annoyed and pissed. She started walking towards the main building and didn’t even look at him, probably the only guy left at the small reception that had taken place moments ago. When a team comes back with casualties they don’t want fuzz and cheers around them and the trainees respected that.

As she was getting away, her armor glinted in the afternoon sun, a silverish-grey that contrasted with her hair. She carried both her weapons behind her back, an assault rifle and a sniper rifle. James was surprised that she could carry that much weight with her. Usually, the soldiers that opted for a sniper rifle took a pistol or a sub-machine gun as a secondary weapon, but not another full assault rifle.

 _Although, that might be the perfect choice for most situations_ , he thought.

She was limping slightly and then she dropped her gauntlet on the dirt. He could hear her curse even from the distance. James intended to swiftly walk over and help her, but she knelt down and picked it up before he could even take two steps. He saw blood dripping from her left hand and he swallowed. _She’s been hurt_ , he shuddered. She stood up and kept walking like the stubborn woman James already knew she was, even if he hadn’t even exchanged a word with her. Yet. He smiled and made his way back to the mess hall.

 

 ***

James hadn’t seen Shepard since she arrived at the base two days ago, and it wasn’t because he hadn’t been looking for her, searching for her face in the mess hall, outside the facilities, the gym. Nothing. She had vanished before he could even say hi. He had the memory of her arrival burned into his brain: how she stepped out of the shuttle and how the wind messed up her hair against the sun. He was lost in his thoughts, stirring his breakfast and feeling sorry for himself when he heard his name.

“Are you coming tonight, James?” Harry asked.

“Where to? That dumpster again?” James didn’t want to spend his Friday night drinking beer at that poor-excuse of a bar.

“It’s not like we've a lot to choose from, you know” Harry mumbled.

“Nah, I’ll stay and catch up with my tech project. I’m way behind because I don’t understand shit.” A Friday night studying tech was even worse, but at least he’ll have the chance to run into her again.

“The word is _the six_ will be there tonight to loosen up,” Gilly said with a mischievous smile on her face.

That got James’ attention. “Okay, if you insist I’ll go with you guys.” They laughed at him and he frowned, upset at being so obvious.

Shepard burst into the mess hall and grabbed an apple from the buffet, her hair again tightly up in a ponytail. She was wearing some leggings that hugged her legs nicely, or so James thought, and a loose top that showed her right shoulder and the straps of her bra underneath. He swallowed and looked at her mesmerized. He knew he had to stop the staring but damn, he couldn’t help himself.

Someone on the table in front of them grabbed her arm and stopped her. Shepard released herself from the grip and bit into her apple, looking at the guy.

“Shepard, the newbies say there’s a bar near the base and we’re going to have some fun tonight, wanna come?” The guy smiled at her, but she just gave him the steadiest stare. James didn’t recognize anyone from that table, so they probably were N5 or N6 trainees. But he was really waiting for her answer too.

“Rick, if there’s tequila, beer and music I’m in,” she said, with a mouth full of apple. “Who else is coming?” she asked.

“All of us and the N4 guys that told us about the place,” Rick answered, “a small reunion.”

“Alright, I’ll bring Rose along.” She took another bite.

“Oh crap, why do you…” Rick began to say. “Nevermind.”

She smiled at him with a hint of arrogance. “At the door. 8 pm sharp.”

“See you guys tonight then.” And she left the mess as fast as she came in. James turned his head to watch her leaving and a half-smile turned up on his face.

“Now he’s even looking forward to it,” Harry said between chuckles.

 

James spent the rest of the day in a cloud thinking about going out tonight. He swiftly finished all his assignments and went to take a quick shower before getting ready. He liked to take showers at odd hours to avoid the crowd, the hurries, and the lack of hot water. He hated cold showers the most. He could use the time to shave and fix his hair for the occasion too. He was inspecting himself in the mirror thinking about shaving. He had all his appliances there prepared, but he liked the stubble around his jaw, it made him look older. He thought maybe Shepard would confuse him with an N4 or 5, maybe.

 _No shaving, James_ , he thought. Then he took a glance at his hair. It was too long. He really needed a haircut, or the Commander would tell him off about it.

James was grateful at his tío for giving him an electric clipper before enlisting, he had to use it a couple of times a month to maintain the military cut. He set the razors at two and slid the buzzing device over his left side, working his way backward. That part was tricky, but he had a lot of practice. He slowly worked the other side and tapped the razors at the sink to remove some of the hairs stuck there. The back was tricky, but he did as best as he could while small hairs fell into his back and tickled him.

The top part of his hair was still there, and he tilted his head to one side and to another. _I like this mohawk style_ , he thought, _it suits me._ He ran his fingers through the hair on top of his head, it wasn’t that long to break the regulations and it gave him some edge. He smiled, contented at the result and set the razor at one to trim his nape and behind his ears. He quickly finished, still smiling at the result. It  was a hot, not a good boy look but more like a flirty kind of look that made him feel confident.

The warm water of a well deserved shower poured over his head and shoulders, making him relax instantly. Since he enlisted a year ago, his body had really changed, he was bulky, and he loved it. He worked out, lifting weights whenever he had the chance, and he was developing a more than interesting shape.

He stepped outside the shower and put a towel at his waist to cover his nakedness, looking at himself in the mirror. His abs were showing, and his biceps were getting bigger, he flexed just for fun and felt a bit stupid, but he liked to take care of his body, and to use that strength to improve his combat skills too. It wasn’t just a frivolous thing, he wanted to feel stronger.

 _Maybe I should get a tattoo_ , he thought. After all that indulgence in his image, he was feeling more than great, his ego probably won’t fit through the door tonight.

***

 

“What the heck did you do to your hair, James?” Gilly lectured him.

“I think I look awesome,” he said, running his hands on both sides of his head. He really gave it all today, he was wearing his good jeans, a way-too-tight t-shirt that showed off his muscles and a grey hoodie to top it off.

“I like it. You cleaned up nicely today.” Harry arched an eyebrow at him.

“Let’s go grab some dinner and then party at the Hot Bird. I’m craving pizza,” James said.

“Dude, I’ve never seen you so excited for going to that fucking shit-hole,” Denny told him.

“I still hate your hair, James, you really need to fix it.” Gilly kept rambling about his hair, but he ignored her.

James got into the pick-up truck with his friends and sat in the passenger seat. Even if it was 2177, people still drove cars on Earth, the old roads were still passable and, for short distances, a car was the better choice. Although the old gasoline cars disappeared years ago, now they were all electric to control emissions into the atmosphere, giving it a chance to recover from the damage humanity had done in the past.

James rolled the window down and let the air drift through his fingers, he loved these little moments when he felt alive and free. The world was at his feet.

 

The Hot Bird was on fire tonight, a lot more crowded than usual, filled with locals and trainees from the villa. The air stunk worse than stale tobacco mixed with sweat. James scanned over the crowd looking for Shepard, but he couldn’t find her. At least he found a table for four near the jukebox and they sat down there.

“What’s going on today, so many people!” Gilly complained.

“Let’s get something to drink,” Harry said, thirsty for some fun.

“I’ll go get us a tankard for four,” James offered. “First round is on me.” He would use this opportunity to glance around the bar, hoping that Shepard would at least show up tonight. He approached the counter and the bartender quickly gave him his order. James kept looking for Shepard but decided to forget about it for now and enjoy some fun time with his friends.

Against his better instincts, he didn’t even sit looking towards the door, and sat looking at the jukebox, with Harry. Gilly and Denny were in front of him. They were happily chatting about the recent gossip of the villa. Nothing really fancy ever happened there, but this week was all about the new N6 members and the next mixed training sessions. James didn’t know what that was about, yet, but he was hoping for some action and some challenges too. His sight was lost on the jukebox, when a girl in very, very tight jeans walked towards it and leaned over to pick a song. He shamelessly stared at her ass until Harry hit him with his elbow.

“There you have your dear Shepard,” he whispered into his ear.

He jumped out of  his seat. _Damn, that is some juicy ass,_ he thought. She picked a song, an old theme that he knew, happy and cheerful. James wouldn’t have expected something like this from her, but he smiled as _Kisses from you_ played loudly in the place.

Shepard took off her jacket and let it rest on the top of the old machine. She turned around, lip-syncing the melody to someone behind James.  She was wearing a simple black shirt that hugged her body nicely. _She doesn’t need more to look stunning_ , he thought.

_Black is the day when the melody has gone away_

_No more music to play_

_Cold night and I’m feeling the breeze_

_In this lonely world… only kisses from you could save the day_

_And melt the ice, around my heart._

 

A blue-haired girl came along and surrendered to her charms, singing loudly with her, and dancing happily with a beer in her hand. The guy from this morning, Rick, joined them and tried to grab Shepard’s waist. She nimbly avoided him, so he ended up grabbing the other girl instead, and dancing with her while Shepard leaned on the counter to order some drinks.

“Go now,” his friends were all looking at him, interested in his next move.

“I can’t just go and talk to her,” James complained. “She doesn’t even know my name.”

“And she never will unless you introduce yourself. Come on,” Harry encouraged him.

James swallowed and left his seat, fixing his hair. He started walking towards the counter as he watched how a guy took a seat right beside her and said something to her.

 _Damn, I can’t go there now, but I can’t turn around either. I’ll just order some more drinks,_ he thought.

He leaned on the counter at the other side and glanced at them. He was talking to her, but she didn’t look particularly amused. She knew him though, he was an N6 trainee and he had been with her the other day when they arrived.

“What do you want?” the bartender asked.

“Tequila. Five shots.” Shepard glanced at him when she heard the word tequila. “But don’t give me that bullshit you give to everyone else, I want the good stuff with salt and lemon too,” James demanded.

“You pay. I serve.” James put some credits on the counter and waited. He looked to his right and saw her still looking at him. He smiled at her and she smiled back, but then the other guy grabbed her arm and made her flinch. She turned around and yelled something at him. James got his shots in front of him and swallowed clearly uncomfortable. He watched her leaving the bar stool, with a beer in her hand, cursing something unintelligible.

“We need to talk, Shepard! You’re not getting away that easily,” the guy shouted at her. Shepard raised her hand, not even turning around to look at him, and gave him the finger. The guy looked at James and hissed, “What are you looking at, newbie?” James didn’t bother to answer him, he just picked up his drinks and went to the table to join his friends, frustrated about his failed attempt to talk to her.

“What happened?” Denny asked.

“Nothing.” James sighed. “At least we have tequila, and you better enjoy it because it was expensive.” He was putting salt on the back of his hand and grabbed a slice of lemon when he saw Shepard near the jukebox, talking to the blue-haired girl. She was clearly pissed off and ranting when she noticed him looking at her. She smirked and raised her beer to him as a hello. He smiled and licked the salt on his hand, tapping the tequila shot on the table and then emptying it and biting the lemon slice after. Shepard smiled at him and then disappeared again into the crowd as her friend dragged her by the arm.

“The fuck, James?” Gilly told him, “that never works with girls.” He cursed and emptied his second shot, shaking his head.

_She doesn’t know my name but at least she has smiled at me._

They were all ready to leave, already in the car when James yelled: “Mierda, stop! Forgot my hoodie.” He ran inside the bar again, listening to the loud complaints of his friends from the car. The Hot Bird was almost empty, the last call had been more than an hour ago.

“We’re closed!” the bartender shouted at him.

“Yeah, I know, I forgot something.”

“Join the club, and be quick you two,” he said, pointing at Shepard, who was looking for something around the tables.

James’ heart skipped a beat when he saw her with his hoodie in her hand, as she searched around. He swallowed and walked towards her.

“I believe that’s my hoodie,” he said. _Brilliant, James, just brilliant_ , he cursed to himself.

“Sorry, here you go.” Shepard handed him the hoodie and tilted her head recognizing him from before.

“Tequila boy,” she said, smiling at him. Again, that beautiful smile that made him sweat nervously. “If only I could find my damn jacket,” she cursed.

James looked at the jukebox and reached his hand behind the top cover, under Shepard’s watchful sight. “Bingo,” he said and pulled out her jacket.

“Aren’t you resourceful, tequila boy?” Shepard took the jacket he was offering her. “What’s your name?”

“James Vega.”

 _Yeah, I’m really a smooth talker today, damn it,_ he thought _._

“Vega. Like the star,” she said. “I’m Shepard”.

“I know.”

 _Mierda, mierda, mierda…_ he thought.

“Oh! You know,” she said with a half-smile over her lips, “well, nice to meet you, Vega”

“Nice to meet you, too.” He scratched his neck and walked out with her to the street, where both their cars were waiting for them.

“Good night, James Vega.” She hesitated, looking up to him. “Nice haircut, by the way.” She turned around and walked towards her car.

“Hasta la vista, Shepard,” he said, waiting for her to turn around to look at him. It was cold that night, he realized as he breathed in the air. James was about to give up when she opened the door and glanced at him as she was getting into the car. That was enough to make him grin for the rest of the night, and probably tomorrow too.

“What took you so long, for God sake?” Denny complained. “You left me alone in the car with these two in the back eating their brains out and I’m done.”

“She knows my name,” he said, still grinning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James has a crush (big news)

It was Monday already and James was still grinning about last Friday night. He wasn’t even listening to the tech class, pretty much lost in his own thoughts.

“Dude, you wanna talk about it?” Harry whispered to him.

“What about?” James saw the reprimand coming.

“Your fucking crush on Shepard.” Harry looked at him with a steady face.

James shushed him. “Lower your voice, man.” James knew he was being obvious about his crush, but that didn’t give him the right to spread the word.

“You do realize you don’t even know her.” Harry shrugged. “Maybe she’s a stupid boring bitch,” he said.

“She’s not like that.” James considered his words for a moment. “Look, all I want is to get to know her.”

“So, you don’t want to get into her pants?” Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

“I want to know her, that’s all, I’m not thinking that far ahead,” James chuckled. “To be honest, I don’t think I stand a chance. She’s out of my league.”

“Agreed,” Harry teased him.

“But I still like her, and I want to know her, that’s not a bad thing.” James wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“It’s not, but don’t miss other opportunities aiming that high.” Harry pointed with his head to some other girls in the class, who giggled when James turned his head around.

“I’m not interested,” he simply said, “but good point.” He winked at Harry. 

_ Maybe my mohawk is giving me more than an edge _ , James thought.

 

***

It was rush hour in the mess hall, and James was at his usual table with Harry, Denny, and Gilly. He had been friends with these guys since Harry introduced himself in the shuttle the day they arrived at the villa. James laughed at the memory, they both were scared as hell and nervous. A new place, hard training, and a lot of orders and regulations to follow. Discipline was hard at first, then it just became easy and comfortable as time went by. Harry was a marine just like him, they wanted to be in the middle of the action right in the front line. He was less bulky than him though. Gilly and Harry had a thing, they kept it secret, of course, but they didn’t fool anyone. Sweet Gilly, a beauty on carrot-orange hair. She was training to be a vanguard, her biotics were strong, but she needed to control them better if she wanted to get into the N5 biotics unit. 

“There was a fight at the showers this morning,” Denny said, and caught the table’s attention.

“What about?” Gilly asked him.

“That guy,” he pointed discreetly at him with the fork in his hand, “and Shepard,” he finally said.

“Why do I always miss the good stuff?” James complained.

“Because you take showers in the middle of the night or too early, man,” Harry told him.

“What happened? And who’s that guy anyway?” James was now curious.

“I believe his name is Jake, and that he was bragging about… well…” Denny stopped, realizing he was talking about Shepard in front of James.

“What?” James looked at him and then at Harry, intrigued.

“Just tell him. He will find out anyway.” Harry conceded.

“Jake was bragging about having had a fling with Shepard some time ago,” Denny finally said.

“Bastard,” James said, “Even if it’s true, that’s just wrong.” He was a little disappointed at the thought of Shepard involved with that guy. “He was trying to talk to her the other day at the bar, well, more like demanding,” he added.

“The thing is, Shepard was there, and he didn’t know, so he kept giving details and stuff out loud, he soon had a little crowd around him. Then, out of the blue, she punched him, and he pushed her back into the wall in response”

“Damn,” Gilly said. “That’s crazy.”

“Yeah, it didn’t go further than that, but she told him to settle things in the ring if he had the balls and then she just left,” Denny finished.

James’ good mood vanished as he thought about that guy.  _ I seriously need to start taking showers at normal hours _ , he thought.  _ Are they going to fight for real? _ That was something he wanted to see, he knew where his money would be on. 

He suddenly saw Shepard heading for the exit. She looked pissed and angry. Then she saw him, and the expression on her face smoothed out. “Hey, Vega,” she said, walking past by him. He swallowed and raised a hand as a hello, trying to say something, but she was already gone by the time his brain had processed it.

“Did she just say hello to you?” Harry was surprised, looking at his friend like he couldn’t believe that an N6, that  _ Shepard _ , had said hello to his best friend. “Come on, and the six I cross in the hallway call me N-shit and newbie all the time.”

“Vega? We all call you James, why does she call you Vega?” Gilly said.

“She can call me whatever she wants”, James chuckled.

 

***

It was Thursday night. The week went flying by as James had spent the last two days at a shooting practice with his group. He had improved his aim a lot, but he still preferred a shotgun better than an assault rifle, and he was still slow assembling weapons. He was heading to the gym with his music on and ready to really push his muscles to a challenge today. When he entered the place, he saw a crowd around the boxing ring, and he had to remove his headphones to ask what was happening. When he was about to, he saw Shepard, sweating, with a death-like look in her eyes, sparring with… with Jake. 

_ Shit just got real _ , he thought.

James pushed his way to the front, so he could take a better look at the fight. They must’ve been fighting for a while now, they were both sweating, Jake was bleeding from his eyebrow and Shepard had a split lip. They were swiftly dancing around each other.

“Do you still want to talk about private shit in public, Jake?” Shepard asked him.

“Just spreading the word about your wonders, babe,” he boldly told her. Shepard got angrier and landed a quick blow to his jaw, followed by another one at the ribs until he got away putting some distance between them.

“I can keep this up all day,” Shepard warned him, heavily panting. “Or I can knock you out, you bastard.” Jake tried to strike a blow right to her face. Shepard barely dodged it. 

_ She is getting tired _ , James thought. 

Jake tried to grab her, and she hit his ribs again, but then, he pushed her and threw her on the canvas. Shepard landed on her back, and Jake jumped on top of her. He landed a harsh blow on her face and she grunted in pain, struggling with the heavy recruit over her. Jake was laughing, assuming her defenseless, and she used the distraction to punch his lower belly and turn him to the side. She was on top of him now, and when she was about to punch him again, she turned around, alerted by Commander Aller yelling at them to stop. 

“Why the hell do you disrespect my ring with your bullshit?” he shouted at them. “Have you looked at yourselves?” He climbed into the ring and separated them, helping Shepard to stand up. “This is a fucking bar brawl, not a fair match.” Jake and Shepard were quietly taking the reprimand. “You want to spar? You will all spar,” he said, pointing at everyone who had watched them fighting. “On my terms.” 

James was freaking out, he had never seen anything like this happening at the villa before, fights, yeah, but nothing this harsh and not inside the gym. He was watching Shepard and he didn’t see a hint of remorse on her face. Commander Aller walked behind them and was still lecturing them, “You two have too much energy today, you’re going to run until your legs can’t take it anymore. Outside! Now!” he ordered them.

James’ gaze was fixed on the ring, still processing what had just happened. He thought Shepard was a marine, not a grunt who got into fights, even if the guy deserved it. As the crowd dispersed, he continued with his routine and began preparing his weights to workout.

It was late afternoon when he finished at the gym. Leaving the place, he saw Shepard and Jake still running in circles around the area, Commander Aller in the middle, growling stuff at them. James noticed the blue-haired girl sitting against the wall reading something on her data pad.

“Hey,” James said, “is she okay?” Tilting his head to Shepard.

“Hi, James. I’m Rose,” she introduced herself. “She will be, but she needs to cool off.” Her blue hair matched her blue eyes, that he could swear flared with some blue tint around them.

“How do you know my name?” he asked, surprised.

“Shepard told me the other day,” she simply said. “Did you see the fight?”

“Nah, just the end. Nasty stuff, I mean, the guy deserved it but,” he saw Shepard falling onto the ground dust getting stuck on her body, but she got up and kept running. If you could call that running. “But it wasn’t pretty,” he finished his sentence.

Jake fell on the ground too, and Shepard helped him stand up. They were exhausted after the fight and the running. Commander Aller took care of the poor guy, making sure he was okay, and dragged him inside, dismissing Shepard. She walked towards Rose and James, who was still standing there awkwardly.

“I should be going,” he said.

Rose smirked. “Don’t you wanna say hi? She’s adorable when she’s pissed.” James didn’t have time to react to that before Shepard reached them. 

“I think I’m in need of a shower,” Shepard said, heavily panting.

“Agreed,” Rose told her, narrowing her eyes at her. “Go shower and I’ll be there with your things. I don’t want you to mess up our room more than you usually do.” And she just left James alone with Shepard who looked at him from under a mask of dirt, dust, and blood.

_ Say something, say something, say something _ , James thought.

“I should go,” she said, “I don’t know how long my legs will keep working.”

“I’ll walk with you,” James finally said.

“To the shower?” Shepard glanced at him.

He nervously chuckled, “I mean, I was working out. I was heading there anyhow,” he explained, rubbing his neck.

“Relax, Vega,” a mischievous smile on her face. “I don’t bite.”

“No, but you land a hell of a right hook, Shepard.” He smiled at her and she laughed, a clean bright laugh that resonated in his ears as the sun cast long shadows in front of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again @barbex for beta-reading this! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James learns the you-should-stay-away-from-Shepard lesson.  
> Maybe a little too late.  
> And he loves it.

A persistent noise kept bugging him until he woke up to sirens blaring and madness in his barrack. Reveille was half an hour before the usual wake-up call.  _ Mierda _ , James  thought . He hurried to get dressed. Commander Aller was at their door shouting orders, and everybody rushed outside to the parade ground. He didn’t even tie his boots properly , just followed the others. The cold morning air slapped him in the face and made him shiver. He was yawning when he found Harry and Denny in the crowd.

“Do you guys  know what’s going on?” James asked.

“Not at all,” Harry said, yawning just as loud.

They stood there in the middle of the patio waiting for orders. 

The last two weeks had been hectic, he had failed another tech exam, and it worried him because he didn’t  know how to improve his skills in that area, besides, kicking or shooting a console worked just the same to him. And it was faster. He had had little time to  socialize , except meal hours. James had seen Shepard at the gym  a couple of times , and he even had eaten with her one day when she had missed lunch.  He had stayed with her and they had talked for a while about the training program, what the Alliance expected of him and all kinds of advice on how to get through this alive.  Shepard had  been happy to talk about it and quiet his doubts, but she had told him that the only thing that mattered was to give your best every single time, and to keep a clear head. That had been the high-point of James’ week. When he  thought about how Shepard had offered to help him with the gun maintenance tasks, he got  really  excited about it. He wanted to spend more time with her, he  thought she was tough and  hot , but she was also sweet with her friend Rose and she wasn’t  particularly  bitchy or mean, as Harry had suggested at first. In fact, she was friendly with him, even flirty sometimes, or  maybe that was just James’ imagination.

Another group was approaching them. He  realized the ones on the patio were the N 2 and 3. He  knew the fives were on a deployment at Luna  Base for zero-gravity training. He frowned as he saw Shepard and three more  N6 trainees, one of them Jake, standing still behind Captain Barnes.

“Recruits! You’ll be part of an N6 exercise,” he yelled at them. “You’ll be picked, or not, to be part of a small team, led by one of these four N6 trainees. You cannot choose, and you better not complain, or you will be cleaning until the end of the year.” He paused. “Now, form a line! At ease!”

Everyone quickly rearranged themselves in formation and stood still, waiting for more orders. James felt his heart pounding, looking straight in front of him. He felt thrilled at the possibility of being picked by Shepard. Jake and the other two guys were prancing around the recruits making jokes. Shepard stood still beside Captain Barnes. She said something to him and he nodded.

“If you’re done with that poor demonstration of power  maybe we can start,” Barnes said, looking at the three guys, disappointed. “Jake, you go first, then you two, Rogers and Steven, Shepard you’re the last one,” he paused again. “I remind you, you need a team of six plus yourself.” He  finally  stepped aside and watched attentively .

James didn’t want to stand out as the big bulky guy and  be picked by any of those assholes. So, he tried to blend into the background as they were wandering up and down between them like they were inspecting cattle. Jake had picked someone already, a good one, in fact, he only  knew the guy by sight, but he  knew he was a nice shooter. The other two picked random guys. It was Shepard’s turn now, and he was nervous. She was still besides Captain Barnes, she hadn’t moved the whole time they’d been there. 

“James Vega, present!” Shepard shouted. He heard murmurs around him and he took a step forward, looking at her. She wore a serious expression while looking back at him. He swallowed and walked towards her to stop at her right side, still in silence.

“I need a tech expert, a good one.  Do you know any?” Shepard asked him, still looking at the crowd in front of her and watching the choices of the others.

“Denny Brown,” he said. “His tech level is at an  N4 or 5  right now,  he’ s good .” 

She smiled, pleased at his answer. When it was her turn again she shouted: “Denny Brown, present!” And he  swiftly  joined them behind James, exchanging a terrified look with him.

“Any good biotic?” Shepard demanded. 

_ She  _ _ really  _ _ likes giving orders _ , James  thought .

“Vanguard or  Adept ?” 

She hesitated for a moment. “Vanguard.”  She turned her head to look at James.

“Gillian Murphy. She’s got a punch.” 

Shepard called her up too. Captain Barnes was almost chuckling at this point.

As soon as Gilly had joined them, Shepard turned around to look at James. He turned around too and stood at parade, which made her show a smirk on her face. “You’re my second in command, James. I need three more soldiers, good ground troops who  know how to obey orders without questions.” 

A half smile grew on his face while he lowered his gaze to look at her, nodding while Shepard kept talking. “You pick them and report in two hours in the mess hall.” She walked away and then she glanced at him over her shoulder. “Rest, Mr. Vega,” and dismissed herself at Captain Barnes.

Jake walked towards Barnes, an annoyed scowl on his face. “Why is she leaving? She still has to pick three more.”

The Captain chuckled. “She designated her second in command to do that for her, son,” he explained.

“Good luck with that,” Jake barfed.

“I  think she’s the only one here that understands what chain of command is.” Barnes raised an eyebrow at him. “Your turn.”

James repressed a chuckle.  He was over the moon right now, and he took the task at hand very seriously.  He’ll work with Shepard and, even better, she trusted him with it.  She wanted the best, and he was going to be the best.

 

Two hours later, James entered the mess hall and saw Shepard at a table near the window. She noticed him, patting the seat beside her to invite him to sit.

“I’m sorry for the ambush this morning,” Shepard told him.

“Are you kidding? That was awesome.” He chuckled. “But you could’ve picked any guy, why me?”

“I kind of  know you already, and I got the impression the other day you wanted to work hard,” she said. “This’ll  be reviewed critically , our performance will have to be on point because it will  be stated as part of our evaluation, for the whole team,” she sighed. “Therefore the apology.”

“I’m up to it, Shepard,” he said, smiling.

“Even our performance this morning, the way we picked our team,” she explained, “that was being appraised, and damn if you didn’t play along, Vega.” She smiled at him and they stared at each other for a while until she looked at her data pad. “I’ll brief you in,” she said, getting closer to him and setting the data pad between them. Her thigh was touching his, and he  felt a flinch down his stomach and tensed. “You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, go ahead.” James cleared his throat and looked at the data pad, trying not to  think how warm she was, how close she was, where that sweet vanilla scent was coming from and how her lips could move so fast if he wasn’t even listening to a word coming out of them. 

_ Damn it, James, focus _ , he said to himself.

“This is the blueprint of the fortress we will have to enter.  Next Sunday, they will gather us there, I don’t  know against whose team we will be up, but I ' ll try to find out as soon as possible,” she looked at him. “We have four days to prepare.” 

“Got it, and what’s the  target? ” James asked her, amused.

“We need to recover a data pad,” she said, but then sighed. “To sum up, it’s a capture the flag game, but instead of breaking in I want us to infiltrate. Here you go,” she handed him the data pad.  “Take it and have a look at it tonight, maybe tomorrow you can come to my room and we go over it together?  It doesn’t seem fair  that  I have all the information now and you don’t.”

“Thank you, Shepard.” He swallowed.  _ She  _ _ just  _ _ said I should go to her room tomorrow night _ , he  thought ,  gobsmacked .

“Okay, I got shooting practice and I bet you should be in class too,” she said.

“Yeah, you’re right, I need to catch up with my tech. Such a nightmare.” They stood and walked outside. “See you tomorrow, Shepard.”

“Hey Vega, don’t you  think I’ve forgotten about helping you with the weapons,” Shepard said and  swiftly  left.

_ This isn’t happening _ , he  thought .  _ This isn’t happening _ .

 

The next day, James was sitting on Shepard’s bed with his  back against the wall . She was next to him, looking at the data pad in front of them, going over the blueprint and the plan again. 

_ She is painstaking _ , he  thought . 

Rose was on the other side reading on her bed, tapping the air with her foot. James liked the girl, she was nice and  very  sweet, her hair matched her eyes and it looked like she and Shepard  were good friends. James  knew she was a biotic, an  adept . They had spoken a little today, and he  was curious to see what she could do in a real combat situation. Shepard’s hand touched his knee and James  realized she was looking at him.

“A little distracted, Vega?” Shepard teased him.

“Sorry,” he said, rubbing his neck.

“Maybe we can get all the team together this Friday to go over it again,” she said.  “What do you  think ?”

“Great, you tell me when and I’ll gather the squad,” he said, and she smiled. Silence filled the room as Shepard tossed the  datapad away and stretched while James  nervously  fidgeted with his hands. 

_ Perfect moment for small talk _ , he  thought .

“So, where are you from?” James asked. “I’m from San Diego, California. I still have family there. How about and you?” Rose raised her head from the data pad to look at them.

Shepard hesitated for a moment. “I’m from Vancouver, I guess.”

“You guess? What?” James chuckled, hesitating because Shepard  suddenly  seemed tense.

She looked  a bit  uncomfortable, but answered anyway. “I was an orphan, and I lived on the streets until I reached eighteen and enlisted,  to make a long story short .” 

_ “ _ Mierda , I didn’t  know , sorry about that.” James  felt so bad, here he was trying to start a light conversation and stepped into something sensitive.

“No need to  feel sorry, but if you want to  know more about that,  you’ll have to buy me a beer at least,” she laughed, and he relaxed a bit at his slip-up. “What did that mean?” she asked.

“ Mierda ? Shit in Spanish. I speak English and Spanish,” James explained.

“That’s cool, say something else, I like how it sounds.” Shepard leaned back, smiling at him, and James couldn’t help but blush.

“¿Qué quieres que te diga, Shepard?” he shyly said.

“Spanish is  definitely  sweet-sounding,” Shepard said, arching an eyebrow at him. 

If she liked it, James  was going to speak a lot of Spanish from now on. Suddenly , someone stormed in her room and screamed: “Who’s like us?”

“Oh shit! Not now! Rose?” Shepard stood up and begged at her with her eyes.

“Forget it. I’m not going,” Rose  instantly  refused.

“James, you’re coming with me. Just follow my lead.” She grabbed him by the wrist and ran with  him out of the room, through the hall and then outside.  It was almost curfew and there were no lights on at all, except some flashlights pointed at the ground.

“Lights off!” someone yelled, and they were  instantly  in complete darkness.

“Stay with me. Don’t  get lost ,” Shepard whispered to James. 

_ What the hell is happening? _ he wondered, confused and disoriented, standing next to Shepard and waiting for his eyes to get used to the dark. He looked at Shepard; the moonlight reflected on her features. She was so damn beautiful. Suddenly , he didn’t care where they were going.

A guy shouted orders at them.  James couldn’t see how many people were there, and he recognized no one because it was way too dark.  Then, he  felt Shepard’s  hand on his shoulder and flinched. It was cold.

“James, this is a prank our squad carries out from time to time,” Shepard tried to explain.

“I should’ve stayed far away from you, right?” he joked.

She chuckled, and he could  feel her breath on his neck. “Yes, you  definitely  should’ve.”

They all wandered in the dark, following each other to not get lost in the deserted area that surrounded the villa. Shepard had grabbed his wrist again, a strong grip, and he smiled in the dark. Her hand was cold, but it was such a familiar gesture that he felt butterflies in his stomach. They halted, and he stumbled into Shepard, which made her chuckle again. 

She turned around and whispered into his ear. “Okay, you’re not  gonna like this but… we’re assembling and disassembling weapons tonight.” Shepard paused. “ In the dark .” James could tell she was enjoying this by her wicked voice.

“Well, what could go wrong, right?”  James tried to man up and not panic.

“ Ehm ,” Shepard hesitated, “you will lose a piece of clothing for every fifteen seconds.”

“ Mierda , what the hell! I suck at this, I ' ll walk away from here naked.” He could hear Shepard had to repressing, and he got even more upset.

She patted his arm. “Okay, calm down, you can do it! It’s easier than it looks, besides, you told me the other day that you can assemble the M-8 in thirty seconds, right? You can spare your shirt or your fatigues. It’ll be fine,” Shepard teased him, still chuckling. 

“What’s your max time?” he asked.

She got even closer to his ear, so close that her lips almost touched him. “Ten seconds, and , by the way, shoes and socks don’t count so we only play with three garments for each, to make it fair. I guess that’s your  shirt, fatigues, and boxers .” The line in front of them was getting shorter and shorter and the pile of clothing at the side bigger and bigger as the other recruits went down one by one.

“Shepard,” James said. “What happens if you can’t pay the price in clothes because you take too long?” He swallowed nervously , expecting the worst.

“You’ll walk naked to your dorm, well, barracks in this case, and they will pick on you for the rest of the year or until they forget about it.” She was leaning over his shoulder and  probably felt his breathing sped up as his turn was coming.

“ Mierda , Shepard, you  really  owe me a beer for getting me into this, you  know ,” James said.

She laughed as it was almost her turn. James guessed she had done it a thousand times based on how cool she was about it. “Hey, you’ll do great.” She patted his chest. “I  know it. Just relax.” James was everything but relaxed right now. Shepard sat down in front of the improvised table. “Whenever you want, Rick.”

“Go!” Rick said. James could hear the clicking noises of the metal pieces fitting in together and before it was even possible she said: “Done!” And stood up.

“And guess who has finished, again, losing no piece of clothing,” Rick complained. “What a surprise, Shepard!” James imagined Rick rolling his eyes at her. “Next!” James was  slightly  shaking, but he had to calm down. “Who do we have here?” Rick said. “A new face and, oh boy, you’re not even an  N6 are you?”

James hesitated,  maybe they wouldn’t let him take part after all . “ N2 ,” he said. The crowd booed at him.

“ Maybe we should lower the bar with this one?” Rick suggested between chuckles.

“Hey, don’t you dare,” Shepard warned him. “ He will do it and he ' ll lose fewer clothes than the first day you tried, Rick,” she said. James’ blood was rushing with adrenaline and Shepard’s words made him even more nervous. 

_ Well,  _ _ it _ _ ’s not _ _ that bad if I must walk naked to my barracks _ ,  _ mierda _ _ , _ he  thought .

“Fair enough, Shepard. Tell us when you’re ready, boy,” he said.

James swallowed and set the pieces in front of him. He had to do it in less than thirty, at least less than forty-five if he wanted to walk out of there with some of his pride left. He breathed in. “Ready,” he said and when Rick gave the signal. He assembled the pieces, dropping the first one and cursing himself for it as he picked it up again. It was dark, but his eyes were used to the lack of light. James was sloppy tonight, he didn’t  know if it was because of the darkness, Shepard behind him, or  the fact that  he would probably be walking to his bed naked today. In front of Shepard. 

“He’s going back naked today, girls!” Rick teased him. 

James just needed. A few more seconds. To finish. He dropped another part. 

“Are you done yet? Because we can keep adding!” 

James could  feel his heart pounding, and he  just  couldn’t fit the last part on the assault rifle. He breathed in, stopped and it slid into place… too late. It had taken him almost one minute to finish. He  was frustrated and angry at himself.

“Poor  N2 boy, you’re walking back naked today.” Rick laughed. “That’s for  playing with the big boys . Pay the price,” Rick told him. It was dark, but he saw the people around him watching him. “You owe me four.”

James stood up, taking off his shirt, and  felt a cold  hand on his back. He ignored it, even if  knew it was Shepard’s, and  quickly  removed his fatigues too. 

_ Joder, I’m getting naked in front of many people here _ , he  thought .

“I’ll pay the other two, Rick,” Shepard said, and  quickly  removed her shirt and rested a  hand on James’ shoulder to remove her fatigues too. He swallowed and glanced towards her. He  silently  cursed the dark for hiding almost everything from him.  The same darkness that seemed too revealing for him earlier, was concealing too much of her body now.

“We have a  good Samaritan here tonight, you lucky  N2 ,” Rick laughed.  “Enjoy the party or go back, you guys are free for the night!”  They all screamed howling to the moon. He looked at Shepard, and she was laughing, howling  happily  and he did the same. She grabbed his wrist again and pulled him away from the group.

“Now you owe me a beer, Vega,” she said, a little breathless.

“I do, but I almost got you naked,” he chuckled.

“You wish.” 

James could almost see the mischievous smile on her face glowing  in the dark .  _ Is she flirting with me? _ he wondered. They  walked towards the villa and the light.  Until now, the darkness had been concealing them and they could barely see each other.  It was nice to talk to her like this, James  felt like he could be himself.

“You see now why I need help with disassembling and assembling weapons?” he told her. “You need to teach me how to do that, ten seconds? Damn.”

“Okay, but to be fair, I  think you were just nervous. But next week we can practice together, deal?” Shepard said to him.

“Deal. First, we have to win the competition,” James said. His jaw dropped when the light reached them and it bathed her body. His eyes hurt from the sudden light, but he had them wide open, watching her. She was walking in front of him. Her black underwear contrasted with her pale skin and her military boots. She had nice legs, long legs that James  thought had to be the smoothest legs he had ever seen. He was  biting his lip as he looked at her tight ass, and her beautiful back until he saw her turning around, and  poorly  tried to disguise his interest in her body. “Ay Madre de Dios,” he mumbled. 

Shepard smiled at him, but that smile vanished as he came into the light too, with his  grey boxers and his muscles showing at the clear light of the streetlight. She stood, watching him attentively . James  thought she might  be a little surprised at his body and he liked the attention a little too much,  feeling it in his  groin and blushing slightly .

“Not that bad, wasn’t it?” Shepard told him.

“Not at all,” he confessed, glancing at her, still blushing a little. “I’ll walk you to your dorm.”

“You  know I can take care of myself, right?” Shepard complained.

“Sure, but can you blame me for wanting to watch you in your underwear a little longer?” James flirted,  feeling more confident and relaxed around her.

Shepard chuckled, and he could swear he saw her blushing. “Let’s go, Vega.”

 

***

 

James was still  tires from the night before, he had several intense dreams about Shepard and the glance he could take at her  barely  covered body. 

_ That girl  _ _ is gonna _ _ be the death of me _ , he  thought . 

He was in the mess, eating and chatting with his friends, and he  really  wanted to tell them everything about last night, but he didn’t get the chance to do it, not even to Harry this morning, who had been very busy trying to plan a secret encounter with Gilly. They were chuckling over some stupid joke about Commander Aller when his last night’s clothes appeared in front of him. James lifted his head to see Shepard, smirking and leaning over the table.

“Your clothes, Mr. Vega,” Shepard said, a broad smile adorning her face. “ It took me a while to find them, you  know .”

He laughed, and the table  suddenly  fell silent. “I ' ll be more careful next time. See you tomorrow?”

“Sure. Bye, Vega,” Shepard said, walking away. He kept eating his breakfast,  realizing everyone at the table  looked at him, baffling.

“What?” James asked, his mouth full of food.

“Are you kidding me?” Harry complained. “Explain! Now!” he demanded, making James laugh again, almost choking in his food.  That was the cue he had been waiting for to tell them about his little adventure last night.

 

***

 If anyone had told James a few weeks ago that he would be celebrating a victory with Shepard in their last practice together, he wouldn’t have believed it. Her plan worked to perfection, and the team’s performance was amazing. Instead of rushing the base, Denny, Gilly and he had infiltrated, while Shepard and the others held the enemy, and pretended they wanted to rush them from the flank. Rick’s team bought it from the beginning, and they pretty much had a clear path inside to hack their security, and got out before they even noticed. So now, they were all at the Hot Bird having drinks and reminiscing about the top moments of their little incursion. 

“I can’t  believe you overrode their security in less than twenty seconds, man,” James told Denny.

“I  know !” He laughed. “What can I say? I’m the best.” He  proudly  finished his beer. James hadn’t ever seen him so relaxed in a long time.

“Easy there,” Shepard warned him. “I’ll get us another round, on me.” She headed to the bar, and James followed her.

They were both waiting for the beers. James was looking at her with a stupid grin on his face. Shepard seemed so happy, and she was so  pretty  tonight.  _ I  _ _ really  _ _ like this girl _ , James  thought .  There was a lot more to her than he initially had thought.  Something drew him to her from the  very  beginning, but now it was tangible and  felt real.

“What?” she said, interrupting his thoughts.

He blushed when he  realized he had been staring at her. “Nothing.” James rubbed his neck.

“I wanted to thank you,” Shepard said. “You picked the team, I wouldn’t have done this well without you.” She pushed James  slightly  with her shoulder.

“De nada, Shepard.” James smiled at her.  “Maybe we should have a tequila to celebrate.”

“You buying?” A grin spread on her face. James remembered the first time he had struggled to buy her a drink. It all seemed so easy now.

 

James ended up having two tequila shots with Shepard, and a lot of beer, but it was a Sunday night and they had to go back before curfew.  They had had so much fun since this morning, first with the training exercise and then the party.  All the fear and the doubts about his performance faded away as soon as he had looked at Shepard, and she had given him a reassuring smile that everything would be fine. It had been easy, he  felt like he belonged, and he  knew he had made the right choice enlisting.  He might regret it in the future, but right now, it was all he ever wanted. 

Well, not everything, because as he was sitting next to Shepard on the back of the pickup truck, he  realized he wanted her, or at least, he wanted to try even if it backfired in the end . Getting hurt was a risk he was ready to endure for her. 

James noticed that she  was shivering in the night’s cold air. She wore only a shirt,  unconsciously  hugging herself, trying to keep the warmth. James took off his hoodie and covered her shoulders.

“Don’t. I’m fine,” Shepard protested, but he ignored her and put the thing over her. “Oh god this  is so warm ,” she mumbled. 

“You trust your team, and you ask for anything, but you won’t ask for help for yourself,” he teased her. “How is that, Shepard? ”

She  properly  put the hoodie on and closed it, keeping James’ warmth inside. “I guess if you don’t need help it gets easier when you don’t  actually  have it.”

“We all need help sometimes,” he pushed her with his shoulder.

“Thank you, Vega.” She smiled. “I might just steal this from you, you  know ,” she said, snuggling into the hoodie.

“I  believe it’s too big for you, Shepard.” He chuckled and loved her keeping a piece of clothing he owned.

“Aren’t you cold now?” She glanced at him.

“I’m  hot blooded. I’m fine,” he said, shivering because,  after all,  they were at the back of the truck, in the cold.

“You  know , sometimes you  just gotta ask for help, James,” she  ironically  said, taking his arm and resting it on her shoulders, so he could hug her, and then she snuggled against his chest, her arms around his waist. “Better?”

James thanked the darkness because he was blushing all over. Her body resting against his, so close  that  he could  feel her steady breath, and the vanilla scent of her hair that tickled his arm. “You’re bad, you  know that , right?” James said to her.

“Figures. I  just  stole your hoodie.” Shepard chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank barbex enough for beta-reading this and all the things I am learning about my own writing thanks to her <3 Thank you so much!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And James keeps playing with fire (Shepard).  
> But maybe she has a thing for him too...

James was lifting weights at the gym while listening to his favorite music. His arms were getting tired, but he kept going, set after set. Lately, he really liked sculpting his body with the weights, being meticulous and careful, increasing the right amount of weight every time. James, exhausted, rested the bar on the hangers and sat on the chest bench, took off his sweaty shirt, and towel-dried his swollen muscles.

 _Maybe biceps to top off today’s workout_.

Standing up to reach for the dumbbells, he saw Shepard watching him, with a half-smile on her face that suggested her amusement.

 _It couldn’t be_ , he thought. James smiled at her, the towel now wrapped around his shoulders. He removed his earplugs as she got closer to him. Damn, if he couldn’t help the raising of his heart whenever she came around him.

“Hey, Vega. I was looking for you,” Shepard said. He caught her taking a peek at his abs and he unintentionally flexed. “Maybe we can find a quiet place tonight?” she said, arching an eyebrow.

James’ legs trembled and his jaw dropped. “What for?” he stuttered.

 _She’s messing with me_.

“You wanted help with the weapons, right?” she said, smirking.

He chuckled to calm his nerves. “Yeah, that’d be great,” James said. “Will you share your secrets with me or what?”

“I’m considering it.” Shepard folded her arms on her chest. “What do you say?”

“We could sneak into the armory after curfew,” James suggested.

“Perfect. See you there, Vega” Shepard said, glancing at him again before leaving the gym. He realized he was breathing faster, and that his heart was pounding. He swallowed nervously.

 _Dios, I act like a teenager, I have to play it cool_ , he thought, running his fingers through his hair.

 

Enough to make him nervous for the rest of the day. Harry and Denny lectured him about not making a move on her tonight, addressing it was way too soon and that he probably misunderstood the whole thing. James agreed with both, but he would flirt with her like he’d been doing all this time because, when he had, she had flirted back too.

 _I’m just being myself_.

And there he was, right on time at the entrance of the armory when a cold hand over his shoulder startled him.

“It’s me,” Shepard whispered, pushing him inside the armory between chuckles.

“We’re in deep shit if they find us here,” he said, letting her boss him around.

“It’s for a good cause,” Shepard said while James followed her. She stopped in front of the bench and picked up an M-8 Avenger.

“Okay, come here,” she said, signaling James to stand by her side. “First, you put the pieces always in the same layout, so you know where to find them and it’s always the same,” she explained while going through the pieces. “Once you learn that, the rest is to do it again, and again until your hands hurt.”

James arched his eyebrows at her. “That’s not new, I’ve done that.”

“When I say a lot of times. I mean a lot of times,” she lectured him. “Look.” She quickly assembled the rifle, her hands dancing around the pieces, perfect reach, perfect pressure. “Done.” She handed him the gun and stepped aside.

“You must’ve done this a billion times because I’m telling you, I’ve been doing exactly that and I’m still a too slow,” James complained.

Shepard gave a quiet laugh. “Well, when I was with the Tenth Street Reds, and I couldn’t sleep at night I sat in front of my gun and went over it until I didn’t feel my hands,” Shepard confessed, and James saw a hint of fear in her eyes. Fear of being rejected.

James turned around to look at her. “Are you telling me you were part of a criminal organization? Seriously?”

“I had no choice.” She hesitated. “Well, I had but, at the time, I couldn’t see it. If that makes sense.”

“I get it.” He didn’t want her to be embarrassed by it. He briefly thought of his father and the shitty life he would’ve had instead of this one if he hadn’t enlisted. “I’ve been involved in nasty things myself thanks to my father. But what did you do mixed with those thugs?”

“Mostly armed robberies, gun smuggling and some drug dealing,” she said. “I was lucky I didn’t get killed or arrested.” She swallowed. “I was too young, it’s scary to think about it now.”

“And when you turned eighteen you left them and enlisted?” James hadn’t expected that at all.

“Yes, I wanted to do something with my life not to be a small-time criminal. What happened with your father?” Shepard asked.

James sighed, he hadn’t seen his father for almost two years now. “He used me as his mule,” he told her. “When my mother died, he became a red sand addict, and I had to pay the price.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, James.” Her hand over his forearm was cold, but made him smile.

“It’s okay now, thanks to my tío I ran away from all that and here I am.” He smiled at her. “I’m not doing that bad.”

“Not at all,” she smiled back at him.

“So, what’s the magic trick then?” James said, glancing at the weapon in front of him.

She narrowed her eyes and pushed him to a side with her hip. He had arranged the pieces in the same order she had before. Then, Shepard pulled something out of her pocket, some kind of black fabric, and handed it to him.

“Blindfold me,” she said, and James swallowed, watching a smirk slowly appear on her mouth. She took off her jacket, and James appreciated the white tank top underneath, that left little to the imagination. He stepped behind her and obeyed, taking care of not pulling her hair. Her breathing was steady and calm, her shoulders slightly moving along. James liked that she was shorter than him and pictured himself kissing her and smiled. Shepard had her hands placed on the bench in front of her, waiting for him to finish.

“Done,” he said, lightly touching her shoulder and standing at her side so he could watch her. She ran her hands over the pieces. “When you do it in the dark or with your eyes closed, it looks like it’s too hard but it’s easier. You don’t get distracted by the pieces or the angle you just feel it with your hands.”

“That looks harder Shepard,” James told her.

“At first, yeah, once you get used to it is so calming and relaxing.” She assembled the weapon. “Start slowly, finding the right amount of distance you need to cover with your muscles, getting used to the weight of the different parts and knowing how to turn them around and where to put them, every single one of them is different in its own way and you just _get to know them_.”

James, mesmerized by her hands, watched her attentively. They knew exactly where to go, working at a leisurely pace. She was smiling while doing it and he got distracted by her beautiful neck, looking down her collarbone and her cleavage. James licked his lips and swallowed while looking at her breasts, distracted by her arms moving. He stared at her, knowing she couldn’t see him. There was an inviting intimacy because she was blindfolded right in front of him that he couldn’t explain, but that turned him on excessively. His mind imagined himself touching her, sliding his hands around her waist and upright to her beautiful, beautiful…

“James?” Shepard said, still blindfolded. “Are you there?”

He coughed. “Yes, I’m impressed.” She lifted the blindfold to look at him with a suspicious smile.

“Your turn, Vega.” She completely removed the blindfold from her eyes and stepped behind him.

“I don’t think I can do that yet,” he hesitated.

“There’s always a first time. Try it, I’ll guide you,” she appeased him, leading him in the front of the bench again. He disassembled the weapon, rearranging the pieces around the bench while she untied the knot he had made.

“Damn, Vega, you really know how to tie things up,” she joked, struggling. He sensed her presence right behind him.

“Need help?” He glanced at her over his shoulder.

“No,” she said, grabbing his head with one hand making him look at the bench, her fingers clawing into his hair and touching his scalp made him shudder. _She always has cold hands_ , he thought. Then, Shepard rested the fabric in front of his closed eyes, it was soft and warm. He felt her hands working on the back of his head, and the pressure of the blindfold as she tightened the knot. “There you go.”

His sloppy hands stumbled over the pieces, not finding what they were looking for. “Relax, Vega,” she whispered into his ear.

 _If only she knew that only made it worse,_ he thought _._

He felt Shepard’s hands on his shoulders going down his arms, getting closer until he could sense her breasts pressing lightly against his back. Shepard’s hands were now over his, soft and cold.

“Are your hands always so warm, James?” She said with a husky voice, not even waiting for an answer.

James knew she was smiling as he let her guide him through the bench. She was giving him goosebumps, but then he relaxed, following her lead and assembling the weapon slowly but surely. Her hands would tell him what piece to grab and how to turn it. The clicking noises and the metal clenching became music as her hands caressed his hands and forearms. He didn’t want it to end, he wanted to feel her hands over him a little longer, all over him, but he knew they were done when she retreated and stepped back a little.

“You did it,” she said, and he removed the blindfold and turned around when they heard voices outside the armory. She quickly turned the bench’s lights off and grabbed his arm to duck behind the table with him at her side.

Shepard shushed him, and he chuckled at the way she did it, it was just so unexpected and funny. She was all over him, her hand on his thigh and her head near his neck. “Stop it, Vega, they’ll spot us.” He couldn’t stop laughing and she pinched his thigh which only made it worse.

“Don’t make me laugh,” he complained. They were both now repressing a laugh, chuckling nervously as the voices and flashlights disappeared in the dark again. And then she sighed, both flustered.

“We should get going, we can try another day,” Shepard suggested.

“We definitely should,” he said, catching his breath. “Hey, Shepard, I have a question,” he said, helping her to stand up.

“Shoot.” James loved that cocky attitude of her sometimes.

“Where did you get that blindfold?” He asked in a low growl, arching an eyebrow at her.

“Shut up, Vega!” She hit him on the shoulder and he grunted as a complaint. But he could see her blushing even in the darkness of the hall.

 ***

 

Friday again today, and another week of hard work and training done. The Alliance knew how to keep you busy that’s for sure. It was mid-afternoon, and James headed to the showers to get ready for tonight. He had organized one of his poker gigs as a rumor got around that they were awesome. It was dangerous because the more people knew about it, the chance Commander Aller would find out increased, but hell, everything was ready for a fun, profitable night. James needed to make money too, he got three regulars and two new guys at the game, he even had convinced Harry to help him around. They would miss their free night this week, and he was sad that he couldn’t spend more time with Shepard at the Hot Bird today, especially after the night in the armory.

James was getting know her, how she liked her coffee burning hot, or she would spend hours reviewing something she didn’t understand, or her stubbornness. Little things he had learned to appreciate about the real Shepard, and not the facade she had on for everyone else. She didn’t go around with many people, mostly Rose and Rick, even Jake sometimes who, after their fight, seemed to have patched things up with her. Shepard also looked for James’ company often, they talked every day, even if it was just a hello, but they were so busy and there was so little free time at the villa that he had struggled to run into her lately. Besides, they had different schedules and training groups, at the end of the year he would be an N3 and she would be still completing her N6 training. Damn, how he wished to be at the same rank as her. Sometimes he forgot that she was four years older than him.

James took his toiletries out to give himself a haircut, not getting rid of the stubble yet, though it was getting weird. He had already taken his clothes off and had a towel around his waist, setting his electric razor when someone came into the showers.

 _Mierda_ , _goodbye privacy_.

He cursed, mumbling and looking for the little brush to clean the razors. His things were spread at the bench between the showers and the sinks, he loved the space and the usual lack of people there. Until now.

“Hey, Vega,” Shepard greeted him. He turned around, rearranging the towel at his waist a little lower when he realized it was her.

“Hola, Shepard,” he said, pretending to be distracted with his stuff at the sink.

 _Calm down, calm down_.

“Getting a haircut, huh? Need help?” she said, resting her bag on the bench. He glanced at what she was wearing, a loose tank top and shorts. She was also wearing flip-flops, and he noticed she had her nails painted in black.

 _She has pretty feet_.

“Have you done it before?” James frowned at her, doubtful. He had been taking care of his hair for awhile now and didn’t want to face any disaster.

“Vega! Would I offer to do it if I didn’t know how to?” She pretended to be offended at him, and he handed her the clipper inviting her to cut his hair with a roll of the eyes.

She moved one of the benches closer to the sink. “Sit,” she ordered him. She ran both her hands through his hair looking at him in the mirror. He instantly relaxed at her touch, loving how she was massaging his scalp. “I assume you want to keep the mohawk, right?”

“I like it but what do you think?” They were looking at each other through the mirror.

“I’d definitely keep the mohawk,” she said, “I like it on you.” She finally grabbed the electric razor from his hand and turned it on, the buzzing noise vibrating in her hand.

“Are you sure?” he asked, a little nervous.

“Relax, Vega,” she chuckled, “I have done this many times, even on myself. Just trust me.” Shepard carefully shaved the sides of his head. “When I was fourteen, I rocked an undercut.”

“I’d like to see that, do you have a picture or something?” James curiously asked.

“Don’t move, Vega,” she told him, “and no, there are no pictures of that.” He looked at her in the mirror and smiled at the way she focused in his hair. James enjoyed the attention, and her caresses over his head. He was also aware that, from time to time, her hips brushed against his back or his arms. How he loved to feel her close to him like this. It caused a thrill all over.

“This time your nape and back will be perfect,” she glanced at him in the mirror.

“Hey, I always do a great job at that,” he complained, and she laughed at him.

“But now it’s going to be awesome,” she assured him. It was faster when she did it. When she placed her hand on the back of his neck, he shuddered, and when she rubbed her hand against his skin, he groaned lightly. “Now you will want me to give you a haircut every time,” she teased him. “That’s done, but your mohawk is getting long for the military. Do you have scissors?”

“In my bag, left pouch,” James said.   He took a peek at her through the mirror when she turned around and bent over to reach for them. Well, he took a peek at her ass, and slightly tilted his head.

Shepard stood up and caught him. “Do you like the view?” she asked, and he blushed instantly. “I am sure enjoying mine,” she said glancing at his body in the mirror. “You’re getting some nice shoulders, Vega.” His groin twitched, and he got tense.

 _I’m getting a hard-on, mierda_ , he cursed.

“Let me trim the mohawk a little and we’re done.” She carefully cut some length off his hair and James looked at himself in the mirror, very pleased so.

“I have to admit it looks awesome,” James said, looking at her. “Thank you, Shepard.”

She smiled at him and then frowned, looking at his beard. “Do you trust me?” she said.

“Ehm...” James hesitated. “Yeah sure.”

She took the electric razor again and stepped in front of him, between his legs and the sink. “Let me fix your beard a little, I promise I'll leave some stubble but it’s too long in some places.”

He nodded.

She lifted his head with her hand and ran the razor along his jaw. She was very close, and James felt her legs against his inner thighs. Her face was so close to his, he didn’t know where to look or where to put his hands, nervously fidgeting on the bench. He casually placed a towel right over his groin, hiding the prominent erection growing under it.

“Done,” she said, stepping away. “Do you like it?”

He looked a lot more cleaned up. He really liked it. “I believe I’ll ask for your help more often, Shepard.”

“I did a pretty good job, I almost earned a beer for this, what do you think?” she suggested, and it killed him to say no to her, remembering his plans for the night.

“I can’t,” he said, sighing. “I have a poker gig to organize later tonight.” She cleaned up the razor while he was talking. “You don’t have to do that, I’ll do it,” James told her.

“It’s fine,” Shepard said, “Well, we can leave the beer for another time then.” She looked at him again and James swore he saw disappointment in her eyes.

“I want your opinion on something,” James said, suddenly very serious. “I was thinking about getting a tattoo on my chest or my back, nothing fancy, you know?”

“That’d be sexy as hell if you ask me,” she said and cleared her throat. “It would suit you, but be careful because I have two and I kind of regret one of them.”

He opened his eyes wide in surprise. “Where exactly? Because I saw none tattoos the other night.”

 _Mierda, great, James_ , he cursed, realizing what he had said.

“Were you checking me out, Vega?” A smirk all over her face. He blushed and snorted, _no way of getting out of this one, James_. “I have the tattoo of my band and another one I’m very fond of.” James wanted so bad to tell her to show him, but he didn’t dare to ask. Instead, he smiled at her. “Well, since I came here to take a shower in the first place, if you excuse me.”

She turned around to the shower cabin and, turning her back at him, she removed her shirt. He tried not to stare as it wasn’t helping his current situation. Besides, they were soldiers, and they shared the showers every day, staring was way out of bounds here.

“Me too,” he said and stepped right into the shower cabin next to her. _That will give her some privacy to undress too_ , he thought. He hung the towel on the door hook and turned the water on. He heard the water in the shower at his right running too.

 _I’m taking a shower with Shepard, well, at the same time as Shepard, but not in the same shower,_ he smartly thought as the warm water poured over him. This would hurt, but he turned the water a little colder, so he could cool off.

“Hey, Vega, can I borrow your shower gel?” she said, and he saw a hand showing over the separation wall so he handed her the bottle. “Thank you!”

He finished quickly and covered himself with the towel, stepping outside the shower cabin. She was still in the shower, so he picked up his things and put his clothes on. He was almost done when she went outside wrapped in the towel, her hair dripping over her shoulders and clearly blushed from the hot water. She handed him the shower gel.

“I’d love to play poker sometime on your next gig,” Shepard told him with a smile.

“Sure, I’ll cut you in,” James said. That would be interesting, maybe he could win against Shepard at poker. “In the meantime, think about a codename for the game, we all have one.”

“Shepard,” she said.

“A code name, not Shepard.” James rolled his eyes at her.

“Well, you give me one then.” Shepard decided and turned around.

“I'll think of something.” He finished and looked at her, she was drying her hair with another towel. “I’m sorry I cannot have a drink with you tonight,” James apologized.

“I’ll survive,” Shepard teased him. “Have fun at your game.”

“Hasta la vista,” he said and left, thinking about Shepard’s codename. _What name can I give her? What nickname would suit her?_ he thought. When he was halfway to his barracks, he had an inkling:

 _Lola_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited to post the next chapter! Do you like sparring? I LOVE sparring <3
> 
> Thank you so much again, barbex, for all your wonderful tips and your corrections ^___^


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James thinks he has seen it all in the Alliance but he is deeply mistaken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like sparring because there's a lot of it here (and fluff).  
> Also, this chapter was inspired (somehow) by Battlestar Galactica <3

Saturday morning promised to be a typical boring day at the villa as James and Harry headed to the mess hall. They saw a group of recruits running to the gym and shouting excitedly. James looked at Harry, puzzled, and his friend hurried to ask one recruit.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Harry yelled but they ignored him. Another recruit, who was following them, answered without stopping.

“It’s a sparring contest, organized by Commander Aller!” He said. “Come on, it’ll start soon.”

“I want in,” James said looking valiantly at Harry, who stood in awe, and hurrying up to the gym.

“Wait, James!” Harry said, following him. “Are you crazy?”

 

The gym, stuffed with recruits, held the tournament. Commander Aller was at a table with two big jars and a blackboard to keep count of the matches. James stood in front of the table looking at a group of trainees leaving their dog tags there and getting ready on the other side of the gym. James swallowed, thinking if he should take part. He definitely loved to spar, but this was new, and it felt dangerous. This was sending adrenaline right through his veins. He saw Shepard approaching the table and dropping her dog tags in the jar.

“I’ve missed this, Commander,” Shepard said. “I’m glad you finally got around to it. We’re in need of blowing off steam.”

“After your demonstration of lack of common sense, I had to. They need to learn what a real fight is,” Aller said, and Shepard rolled her eyes at him. “What about you, burly guy, have you decided yet?” The Commander teased James. 

Shepard smirked looking at James, who was a little lost. She got closer to him and explained the rules in front of the Commander, and future referee. “Put your dog tags here.” She pointed the first jar in front of them, it was half full already. “In about fifteen minutes the rounds will start, and Commander Aller will pick two dog tags, and the owners will fight for three rounds, three minutes each and one-minute rest between them. The one with more points wins, or if you knock your opponent out.” James nodded at her and Shepard continued. “If you lose, you’re out, if you win, your dog tags go to the next jar and, when the first one is empty, it starts over again until there’s only one left.”

“This will take long,” James pointed out.

“Probably all day,” she smiled. “Are you in or what?”

“Don’t rush the guy, maybe he likes his muscles for show and not for fighting,” the Commander teased him again.

James removed his dog tags and let them fall into the jar with a clank as his eyes met Shepard’s and a smug smile spread on his face.

Harry looked at him surprised. “You’re fucking crazy, James,” he said and nervously chuckled.

“Let’s pick a fancy pair of gloves for him because I’m guessing you don’t have your own here,” Shepard said, turning around as they hurried to follow her to the bench area. Rose was already there, waiting for her.

“Rose, dress my hands.” The blue-haired girl raised her eyebrows at the bossy tune. “Please?” Shepard pouted. She looked for something in her bag and handed it to James. A mouth guard.

“What have I gotten myself into, Shepard?” James was in heaven, he wanted to fight, he was feeling the rush and the urge inside him. He had goosebumps, and his heart thumped faster. Everyone was as excited as he was, you could smell it in the air.

“First time I was nervous and scared, but everything turned out okay. I had a great time,” Shepard said while Rose dressed her hands.

“Did you win?” James asked.

“No. I got knocked out and woke up two hours later to see the last match.” She laughed at James’ terrified face. 

Commander Aller shouted the rules with the jar between his hands. Rose was finishing up with Shepard’s hands-wraps when she heard her name.

“I swear, Rose, he does that on purpose.” Shepard sighed. “It’s not statistically possible that I have to go first almost every single time,” she complained, taking off her shirt. James watched her attentively. Her hair was in a ponytail, she wore fatigues, and a short top that restrained her bust a little too much for his liking. But the look in her eyes was bloodthirsty. 

She walked towards the ring and climbed in. James followed her, pushing people aside to get near her corner with Rose, who helped her with the mouth guard. She nodded and winked at him before turning around to see her opponent. It was a young recruit who looked nervous. 

The sound of the bell announced the start of the fight while the recruits cheered on. Shepard moved around her opponent. The guy manned up and followed her around the ring. James knew he had no chance of winning this. He tried to hit her, but she dodged it and landed a hook on his jaw. The trainee fell to the ring and struggled to stand up. Commander Aller started the countdown. Shepard was waiting, still moving her feet in her own deadly rhythm. 

“Eight, nine, ten! Out!” The referee shouted. Shepard waited until he lifted her arm as a token of victory, and then left the ring, leaning on James’ shoulder. It made him tingle. James watched her as they came back to the benches, she hadn't even broken a sweat. Shepard took off her gloves and the mouth guard and set them aside. Her boxing gloves were plain black, even the ropes were black, so neat, and the leather looked smooth and soft. She removed the dressing too, knowing she wouldn’t be fighting for a while. 

“You’re impossible, you know,” Rose told her, chuckling.

“I have to take the first one fast, so I won’t get tired,” she complained, repressing a laugh.

“Oh you love it, the more scared they are, the more you enjoy it.” Rose rolled her eyes at her.

“That was a nice hook, Shepard. Do I have to worry?” James said.

“Let’s hope we don’t get to that,” she smiled, getting closer to him.

“And why Is that?” he asked with a husky voice.

“I’d hate to take you down, Vega,” Shepard said, biting her lip. The sparring wasn’t enough, she had to flirt with him too. 

They both sat on the bench, he looked back nervously, in case they called him.

“Why does the Alliance allow this, Shepard?” James asked her, trying to distract himself.

“It’s a little tradition to work out frustration and blow off steam,” she explained. “It helps resolve old grudges and harsh feelings between soldiers. Once the fight is over, we can forget the bullshit.”

“Does it work?” James asked skeptically.

“It does for me,” she confessed, “and if Commander Aller thinks it works, I trust him.”

“Good point.” He was still nervous, breathing deeply.

“Relax, Vega. You should dress your hands,” Shepard told him.

“Care to help me with that?” James could do that perfectly on his own, but he wanted her to do it. Rose and Harry were busy chatting and looking for a pair of boxing gloves for James in the common crate that weren’t worn away. 

Shepard reached for her bag and rummaged in it for a while until she pulled out a red wrap and kneeled in front of James. He nervously swallowed and dried the sweat of his hands in his fatigues. “These are my favorite hand-wraps, Vega. They always bring me luck.” She rolled the wraps to prepare them.

“You’re spoiling me, Shepard, I’m going to think you like me,” James said without thinking, shamelessly flirting with her. Maybe, the adrenaline was really rushing through him. Shepard was looking down and he couldn’t see her face, but he peeked at a smile drawn over her lips. She raised her head to look at him, keenness all over her eyes. Shepard opened her mouth to say something when Harry stepped in.

“Look! I found the perfect ones, well, we found them,” Harry said, looking at Rose.

“Perfect timing, man,” James said, clearly frustrated. Shepard chuckled and grabbed James’ hand between hers, massaging it gently. He saw her blushing and a triumphant feeling filled him.

“Vega, I’ve seen you hit the punching bag too many times to know you’re no newbie at this,” Shepard said, hooking his thumb into the elastic and rolling the wrap around his wrist, not too tight and not to loose.

James shyly rubbed his neck, watching her dressing his right hand. “I know, I used to go with my tío to this boxing gym, and I trained there when I was a teenager,” he confessed. “I’ve been in bouts before, nothing serious though.” She tangled the fabric between his fingers, one by one.

“So why the hesitation?” she asked.

“I don’t know. It’s been a while,” he said, watching Shepard secure the wrap one last time at his wrist. “It’s just that I don’t have a regular sparring buddy, so I train by myself.”

“Is that okay?” Shepard asked, looking for his approval at the dressing. “You can remove it and do it your way if you don’t like it.”

He stretched his hand testing the hand wrap. “It’s perfect.” And he gave her his left hand with a smile. “Thank you.”

“You can spar with me whenever you want, James, just ask.” She wrapped his hand as carefully as the other. He blushed at her words. 

_ I have a huge crush on this girl _ ,  _ joder _ , he thought.  _ Big news, Jimmy _ .

When they finished; all four of them stood near the ring watching the matches; there were a dozen dog tags left in the jar, still a long way to the end of the tournament. James was enjoying the fights and the chatting with Shepard and his friends. Even Denny and Gilly showed up and stayed with them for two rounds.

On the second round, Shepard had taken her opponent as fast as the first one, knocking him out in the second round. She was still fit and ready for the next one. James had taken his first one down easily, getting him tired and landing hit after hit on him until he defeated him. He knew he had spent too much energy though, and Shepard lectured him about it, but he didn’t mind. James was all fired up. Now, he was waiting for his second turn, he was feeling the thrill, and he wanted more. Suddenly, he heard his name and saw Shepard frowning. His opponent was Jake. 

James climbed up the ring, knowing this wouldn’t be as easy as the last one. Jake was a formidable opponent, and he was more experienced than him. Jake had fought Shepard in the past too. She got closer to his corner. Until now, she had been watching him from afar and it was Harry who had stood there. She gave him a reassuring smile, and he felt more confident.

Jake’s attitude was cocky, and he kept his fists down as an insult, but James ignored him and raised his arms, holding his fists high. They danced around each other as the first round started. James blocked a jab, but the next punch hit directly his ribs and made him grunt. In response, James hit him on the jaw when Jake lowered his guard, and then a combination of a left jab and a right hook, smiling when Jake groaned. 

James wanted to play it cool and earn as many points as he could with his combinations and blows, but Jake got angry and advanced on him aggressively until he cornered James against the ropes, who was parrying the punches as they came. He took an ugly hit even as he was covering himself with the gloves. Commander Aller announced the end of the first round and they both retreated to their neutral corner. Shepard was there, waiting for him, with an ice bucket, medigel and a towel. 

_ She is taking care of me _ , he thought and smiled, though his face hurt a little doing it.

“Damn, he almost split your cheek,” Shepard said, getting closer to his face while she put ice on his left cheek. “Listen James, he’s been sparring longer than you, he is faster, his technique is better, and he is dangerous.”

“Thanks, Shepard,” he said, frowning at her.

“But you’re stronger,” she said, a mischievous smile on her face, “Find a gap, wait for the opening, and punish him, he'll get frustrated and you’re up on points.”

“I like that, but it will wear me out for the next one,” James said.

“Focus on this one. Be careful with his left, he’s a southpaw, he jabs with the right hand and then will throw a power punch with his left. And you won’t see it coming, believe me, I know,” she warned him. “Don’t lower your guard on your flank.” She removed the ice and put the gel over it, which made his cheek numb. “How does it feel?”

“Better now that you pampered me,” James said, winking at her. 

The bell announced the second round, and he stood up, ready. James opened the fight throwing a cross at Jake that made him stumble, followed by another combination. When Jake blocked his last jab James jumped and retreated, following Shepard’s advice. Jake was unforgiving and granted him a blow to the stomach. James was suddenly breathless and had to think fast to counterpunch him. Jake had left himself open and endured a hook right to his jaw followed by two jabs. James was still trying to catch his breath when he blocked a jab on his left, leaving his right flank open. 

_ Mierda _ , he thought, as an unmerciful punch crushed his right cheek. He had to blink, black and white dots blurring his vision as a faint whistle echoed on his left ear.

Lucky for him, it was the end of the second round. Shepard was waiting in his corner and entered the ring, crouching in front of him. He was still confused as she removed his mouth guard and gave him water. He felt how her hand was massaging his neck and shoulder and relaxed.

“Good job, James. You’re winning by points, those combinations are perfect,” Shepard said, and he smiled at her words of encouragement.

“You really want me to win, huh?” he teased her.

Shepard whispered in his ear: “You have no idea how much I enjoy watching you dancing and sweating like that, James.” Lust in her voice, he felt a sweltering sensation growing inside him. Suddenly, the bell brought him back to the fight. 

_ I will win this, you’re not knocking me out today, Jake _ , he thought. 

He blocked the attacks Jake was throwing at him, ruthless and vicious, every single one of them cost him a blow or a jab. James’ counterpunches were fast and deadly, making Jake lose his balance frequently. James dodged him every single time. He knew what he needed to do to win and went for it. The crowd was in a frenzy and shouted unintelligible things. James kept Jake in line until the end of the round, finally winning by points. 

“You made it to the third round!” Harry told him, not believing it. James trembled from the adrenaline rush and felt a piercing pain on his right cheek. But everything passed when he saw how pleased Shepard looked.

“Impressive. He never stood a chance.” Shepard lightly punched his shoulder, making him wince. A stupid grin spread on James' face despite the pain.

 

They went outside to eat something and rest before the third round. Shepard had told them it would be the deciding one because there would be only three people left afterwards. Commander Aller called an one-hour break. Shepard was fine, but James was pretty beaten up by then, though he was happy that he had won his last bout. He was getting worked up over fighting Shepard. 

C _ an I beat her on a one by one? _ he wondered. 

They were talking about the matches and Harry was very excited describing to James how his hits had looked from the outside. Rose and Shepard were both laughing at him and his gesturing. As the sun lowered on the horizon, they looked at the skyline in silence. They leaned back against the front wall of the gym, sitting on the ground. James turned to look at Shepard’s face and she glanced back at him.

“What?” she asked.

“There’s a good chance we'll have to dance next,” James said, arching an eyebrow at her.

“I know,” she touched his beaten up cheek, “I don’t want to hurt that pretty face of yours, Vega.” She chuckled.

He laughed at her friendly flirting. “But seriously, what do you think about the next round?”

“Honestly? I think I’m a strong candidate here, but I think the one that has even a better chance is the big blonde guy, I don’t know his name.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about Hank too. He’s a big bruiser, and he's been lucky in his earlier matches,” James elaborated.

“We should go back inside, the hour is almost up.” Shepard stood and helped him.

James didn’t know if boxing worked the way the Commander intended, but you could see the camaraderie under the rivalry between the recruits. This thing, this stupid bout, was something they will remember for the rest of their lives no matter the outcome. They were all bonding as a group as Alliance marines and as friends. And for James, he was falling in love with the woman in front of him, a fighter, fierce and brave. The way she had been behaving around him lately gave him so much hope. James hoped that maybe, maybe, she felt something for him too. He could sense it in the way she looked at him, how she had taken care of him today and how she touched him whenever she had the chance. 

Harry was so excited that he ran to the blackboard to see the pairings, but he came back with a gloomy face.

“Rick and Samantha got paired together,” Harry informed.

“That’s good, they’re pretty banged up, it may end up in a draw,” Shepard pointed out.

“Shepard, you’re up against Nate.” Harry didn’t want to sound worried, but he was.

“So I have to beat Hank,” James said. His eyes met Shepard’s.

“You’ll be fine,” Shepard told him, but James saw worry in her eyes.

 

Shepard had to beat Nate if she wanted to get to the final round. James knew she was confident and the bloodthirsty look was back in her eyes. As she entered the ring, James thought she looked insatiable and enthralling, like a wild animal. He saw her rolling her shoulders and start the fight with a merciless hit at her opponent as though she wanted to finish fast and not wear herself off. 

Nate was well-trained and knew her moves, she had done the same today to knock her rivals out, but he was covering himself well and she started to get tired. By the third round, she had a split eyebrow that was bleeding. James could tell she was angry about not finding a gap to land her punch, but she would win anyway. Nate was too conservative, and she had more points, but the cost of the fight was huge. She stepped out of the ring pissed and heavily sweating.

“That took way too long, fuck” Shepard cursed, as she gulped down her water.

“I think that was his plan all along,” James told her, handing her a towel.

“Let’s worry about you now,” she said, looking at him. “What’s your plan?”

James put it simply. “I think I have to knock him out or he will knock me out.”

“I believe you’re right. You’re both the same weight, though you’re cuter,” she said, winking at him. He chuckled and let her dress his hands again while he put medigel over her eyebrow, making her complain at the pain.

“Adorable teamwork,” Jake said, and Shepard rolled her eyes at him. “I come in peace.” Jake got closer to them.

“Nice fight back there, James,” Jake nodded at him.

“Same, man,” he said, “Thanks.”

“Be careful with this guy, he’s got nasty moves,” Jake warned him. “I’ll stick around to watch you guys. It’ll be cool if the final fight were between you two.” And he left laughing.

James was feeling tired already, and the fight hadn’t even started yet. It was the end of a long day and exhaustion got the better of him. He was sitting on the bench, waiting for the commander to call him up when he felt a pair of cold hands on his shoulders. He grunted as Shepard rubbed her hands against his muscles, massaging them and taking the tension away. James wished he didn’t have his shirt on to feel her better. 

“Thank you,” he groaned.

“You’re welcome, Vega,” Shepard said.

Before he could process it, he was in the ring facing Hank. He was a big bulky guy with a perilous smile on his face. James blocked two deadly blows and stumbled. The crowd shouted in the background, but it was more like a faint noise as if they were far, far away. He was focused, he wanted to win. 

James landed a cross at Hank directly in his face, and swiftly retreated back. He had a nice cross of his own and he was determined to use it to his advantage. The first round ended up being a warm-up for both, testing out the ground.

“I can’t read what he’s up to, James,” Shepard told him on the break.

“Me neither,” he confessed, “I'll try to knock him out.” She nodded at him as he put his mouthguard in and went back to the fight.

James quickened his movements, putting everything he had into one last attack, throwing a combination at Hank. He endured it and, when James let his guard down, clung to him and punished his kidney over and over until Commander Aller separated them, and James fell on his knees. Shepard screamed something in the background. He had to stand up, and he did. Dizzy and stumbling over his own feet, he saw a merciless Hank coming towards him. The next thing he knew was, that he was lying on the canvas and Harry and Shepard were helping him stand up.

James didn’t lose consciousness, but flashes of what was happening and people circling around him blinked through his mind. He was lying on the bench and, when he tried to stand up slowly, he had a horrible headache and a disgusting feeling in his stomach. He had lost the fight, but he saw Shepard smiling at him, and that eased the hit to his pride. 

Rose was dressing Shepard's hands, and she was getting ready again.

“What did I miss?” he groaned.

“Damn James, you scared me,” Harry told him.

“That fucking bastard did a foul play on you and I’ll make him pay,” Shepard said. She was angry, he could tell by the frown on her forehead and how her eyes narrowed.

“What about Rick and Samantha?” James wondered. “They were the third match.”

“You’ve been in and out for an hour, they already fought,” Harry told him. “They were beaten up and clinching too much so Aller told them to break and eventually stopped the fight. They were in no condition to continue. So it’s a draw.”

“And you’re up against Hank next,” James said, looking at Shepard. James was seriously worried now, she was tough and shit but that guy was double her weight. Hank could tear her apart.

“Don’t worry, Vega,” she said. “I’ve been through worse.” The commander called her up, and they walked with her to the ring.

James put a hand on her shoulder. “Shepard…” 

She smiled at him. 

_ How is she so calmed before a fight like this? _ he thought.

“I know how to fight dirty,” Shepard said. “That’s my specialty, and he won’t get away with what he did to you.” She climbed through the ropes and into the ring.

Hank was tired after his fight with James. He was slow, and she wasn’t. Shepard was dancing swiftly  around him, dodging his blows gracefully and tiring him. Most of the first round was her doing that until she landed a sucker punch on his left cheek and then dodged his hook. This was the real thing. Everything he had seen before was  child's play compared to it. 

He was waiting for her on the corner. She was sweating and panting as she removed the mouth guard and asked him for water, getting ready for the second round. 

Hank was angry, a cold-blooded look in his eyes. James could tell he wasn’t happy about Shepard avoiding all his blows, so he used his body-weight as an advantage. Hank quickly cornered her against the ropes and he punished her blow after blow until, out of the blue, she head-butted him, reopening the wound on her eyebrow. It made him stop, but she grunted in pain.

“That’s a warning, Shepard! And if you don’t stop the bleeding in the next minute, the fight’s over,” the referee warned her.

She groaned, one eye closed and blood dripping down her face as she angrily went to her corner. Hank was still stumbling around the ring, confused.

“Stop the bleeding, James,” she ordered.

“Shepard, I don’t know…” he knew how to, his tío had taught him, but he hesitated, all he wanted was Shepard out of Hank’s reach.

“There are only two outcomes here: either I win or I get carried out of here unconscious, so stop the bleeding, please,” Shepard asked him again, and he couldn’t disappoint her. James would have to trust her on this one. He quickly cleaned up the blood on her face and put ice on it while Rose handed him a white disgusting paste made of medigel and vaseline. He pressed it on her eyebrow, filling the wound and watching, heartbroken, the painful expression on her face.

“Thank you, James,” she said, and then she put in her mouth guard again and stood up so Commander Aller could give her the go-ahead, which he did.

This was the last round. The previous foul play put Shepard behind on points, so she had to knock him out to win. James knew she would give it all, and he wondered how many times she had been sparring, worse, how many times she had to fight like this for her own sake. 

Shepard was still quicker than Hank and she danced around him. He could barely follow her around the canvas, but Hank knew he only had to stay on his feet to win. James saw a mischievous smile on Shepard’s face as she threw another sucker punch at him followed by a combination that made him stumble. Hank tried to corner her again, but she got away and, instead, she threw a rabbit punch right at the side of his neck and another one at his kidney, before getting behind him.

“Shepard! One more warning and you’re out,” Commander Aller barked at her again.

James watched with wide eyes, he felt bad for being surprised, but he was really impressed at her resolve and her fighting; it was dirty, sure, but the guy had it coming. 

She waited until he couldn’t even hold his arms up anymore until the last minute of the last round. Shepard was running out of time when James saw her land the same blow she had been using all day, that right hook on the chin, using her legs for leverage, and Hank stumbled and dropped with a thud.

Everyone in the gym was exhausted, but they cheered for her anyway, shouting her name and clapping wildly. James proudly watched her and wondered how far she would get in the Alliance, how great this woman would be one day. He smiled, watching her step out of the ring when she lost her footing and slipped. James was quick and grabbed her waist with his arm, lifting her like she weighed nothing. Shepard clung to his neck, and he saw her blushing. Second time today he had seen her like that.

“Cuidado,” he said. James felt the warmth and sweat of her body through his shirt and looked directly into her eyes, trying to find out what was behind them. Shepard’s eyes revealed very little but in that instant, he sensed a spark coming from her.

“You can put me down now, if you want,” she whispered, so close to him that he felt her breath near his cheek. He grunted and set her feet on the floor. 

_ I don’t want to _ .

“What a day, wasn’t it?” Shepard sighed as the Commander approached them.

“One day that nasty way of fighting will get you in serious trouble, Shepard,” Commander Aller told her. “You have two days of shore leave to use as you please, well fought, Shepard.” He shook her hand.

“We should celebrate!” Harry yelled. Shepard and James looked at him.

“I’m going to celebrate on my way to the shower,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, me too, after that we can grab a beer or something in the mess,” James told Harry.

“Let’s go, Vega. Seems like we’re having a shower together again,” she chuckled.

“Always a pleasure, Shepard.” James followed her, shaking his head and laughing.

There was no celebration that night. After the shower, Shepard was dead on her feet and James was in no better shape. He went straight to his barrack and the safety of his bed after escorting Shepard to her dorm. At some point, James was afraid that he would have to carry her, judging by the way she was walking, but she made it. 

He fell asleep thinking about her, feeling his whole body ache and a tricky sensation in his stomach, hoping that she felt something for him, something more than just friendship. 

James could only dream.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could go wrong mixing poker and tequila (and Shepard)?

The word went around that the Alliance would attack Torfan soon as James heard in the mess from other N6 recruits. As an Alliance recruit, he wanted to go, but they wouldn’t let him because they needed more experienced soldiers. Shepard would probably volunteer. He swallowed, wanting to ask her. 

James was with  Denny and Harry  in the mess , discussing the recent news and wondering what was  really  going  on .

“ Torfan ?  What does the Alliance want on Torfan?” Denny asked.

“It’s a base for  batarian criminals and slavers,”  James explained. “So my money is on that they  want retaliation for the  Skyllian Blitz.” 

Shepard arrived and sat down beside him, making him move to the side.

“You’re right,  James ,” she  said , sipping her coffee while handing him another mug. “Sorry guys, I didn’t  know if you wanted  some too.” They  quickly  dismissed her apology, looking at  James ’ happy face.

“Thank you,”  James blushed at her  little gesture. “Are you going?”

“To Torfan? Yes, I am. I have no choice,  in fact ,” Shepard  said . “As I was on Elysium when everything happened, they want me there too.”

“When are you deployed?” James knew she had sensed his uneasiness because she pressed her thigh against his.

“I don’t know, one or two weeks. I know very little at the moment and, when the time comes, I bet it'll be classified,” she said. The silence invaded the table at her words, everything looked more real now. “Guys, it’s not like the Alliance is starting a war or anything.” 

“Then why attack Torfan  now ?” Harry asked, fidgeting with his hands.

“Because  it’s a moon that holds a base for criminals,”  James pointed out. “ It’s a key strike against  the  batarians .” 

“We need this to secure our colonies and  make the  batarians retreat from citadel space,”  Shepard said .

“Well, you  made a point,  Shepard ,” Harry gave up, still uneasy.

“It will be dangerous,” Denny  said .  James looked at him, sharing his concerns.

“ Probably , but if we succeed, it'll be worth it,”  Shepard said . 

_ She’s determined  _ _ to make the _ _ best of it.  _ _ Maybe _ _ she needs retaliation too after Elysium. _

“Changing the  subject , this  Friday we got poker night,”  James announced.

“Finally! I thought you had forgotten about me.” Shepard pouted at him. James knew she had asked him to play a couple of weeks ago, but he had been busy, and he wanted to play too, which made it harder to organize something.

“Never,” he flirted. “ Friday after curfew at the gym.”

“I haven’t played poker in a while but well, the worst that could happen is that I get out of there without credits,” she laughed.

“Don’t  play the newbie card with me, Shepard,”  James said, arching an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, she wants us to  believe she  doesn’t  know how to  play and then, she  just  wins the game,” Harry complained.

“Come on, guys! I wouldn’t do that to you.” She ironically said, but James laughed at that face that had everything but innocence on it. “They’re not buying it, right James?” Shepard asked him.

“Not at all. I don’t even buy it myself, and I’d believe almost anything you say,” James chuckled.

“ Anything , huh?”  Shepard smiled and stared at him.  James’ complicity look at the other two was enough.

“We’re leaving, see you later,  James .” Denny and Harry fled from there as fast as they could. 

“They don’t like me very much or what?” Shepard asked, obviously surprised at the sudden escape.

“Nah, they probably have somewhere to be,” he lied. They wanted to leave him alone with her because they knew about his crush, and they were good friends.

“I  don’t have a codename, shit,” she remembered.

“I told you pick one ages ago.” James arched an eyebrow at her. “But I’ve been foresighted and you’re Lola.” James was so proud of that nickname, it suited her, and he loved that name.

“ Lola ?”  Shepard narrowed her eyes. “ I  l ike it , Vega.”

“Very well, Lola, because I like it too,” James said, “It suits you.”

“You’re going to call me Lola from now on, right?” Shepard laughed, and James felt her thigh rubbing against his leg. They had the whole table, but she hadn’t moved.

“I might,  Lola ,” he  said with a low husky  voice . “Unless you don’t  want me  to .”

“You can  call me whatever you  want ,  James ,” she  said , lowering her  voice and winking at him.

 

***

 James kept his promise and, on Friday night, he organized a poker gig that ended up being a complete success. They had a great time, because James would not miss the opportunity to beat Shepard at something, which he did. 

Shepard had been playing dirty, trying to distract him all game long, but he knew better than that. Even when she had taken off her jacket and leaned over the table, pretending to rearrange her chips, or when she had let her hair down,  constantly looking at him over her cards. Damn, he had loved every bit of her little dirty game, but he was the better player. And the winner.

After the game, James and Shepard let go a little too much with the tequila, gulping down shot after shot. He loved how sexy and flirty she was, a little minx, and he was completely under her spell. Until he realized the bottle was almost empty, the gym deserted, and cards scattered everywhere. They had been there for hours after the gig was over,  sitting on the floor, dangerously close to each other. James was pretty much drunk, but he still had a clear head. Shepard, on the other hand, was babbling unintelligible stuff. She was leaning against him, pressed against his thigh and his arm, playing with his dog tags between her fingers.

“Okay, Lola. I’ll get you to your bed,” he  said and  stood , not without  enduring the hit of the alcohol in his  head . “You’ve had enough for one night.”

_ And so did I. Damn, now I wish I hadn’t... _

“Good idea, James, but only if you’re coming with me,” Shepard said, losing her balance as she stood up. He swiftly grabbed her waist to help her, but she looked at him with a mischievous smile, pressing herself against him. James hesitated, walking backward until his back hit the wall behind him.

“ Shepard , what are you playing at?”  James was going crazy at the closeness of her body, she reeked of alcohol, but she was so sexy and warm. Her breasts brushing against his chest as she breathed.

_ Madre de Dios _ .

“You don’t  like what  you see, James ?”  Shepard asked him.

He blushed and swallowed at the question. 

“I do, very much, ” he answered. 

Then she wound her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his.  James ' bulge down in his fatigues was  pretty  obvious, and she had noticed it too by the smug smile drawn on her face. He grasped  her waist , bringing her closer to him, the alcohol pounding in his temples, and blood throbbing in his groin. 

An unexpected moan left his lungs when she turned her head to kiss his neck, licking her way up to the stubble on his jaw, slowly , tasting him.  James lowered his hands from  her waist to her backside. 

“Por Dios, Lola, tú con tantas curvas y yo sin frenos.” She giggled at that. James had to stop, he wanted this, but she was in no condition to make rational decisions and he wasn’t either.

“ Lola , you’re too drunk right now.” 

Shepard let a  hand go down his chest, trailing a path over his shirt.  Her fingers burned as she  playfully  twisted and turned her way towards the waistband where she sneaked  her fingers into his fatigues, teasing him.  James ’ stomach clenched, and his muscles tensed at her touch. She moved her  hand straight to  his hard -on and he  suddenly  grabbed her wrist. He could sense  her fingers over  his hard length, and she bit her lip looking at him.

_ Joder, just let go,  _ _ James _ _... _

“Stop,  Shepard ,” he  said , closing his  eyes to not  look at her lustful  eyes . “You’re  too drunk and I’m  too drunk .” There was no going back now. He had stopped her.

Shepard narrowed her  eyes . “You don’t want me,” she  finally said .

“Not like this, Lola.” He would regret this sooner or later. “I’ll walk you to your dorm.”

“ Seriously ?” She was angry, he could tell. “Fuck you, Vega,” she  said , turning  away from him, but she stumbled and fell to the floor.

“Shit, are you okay?” He reached for her to help her stand up, but she slapped his hand away, upset. “You can’t seriously be mad at me,” James said. “What do you want?”

“I was being pretty obvious back there,” Shepard yelled at him. Her voice suggested that her pride was hurt, but James thought she was being an ass, a stubborn proud ass, a juicy ass, now that she was turning his back on him. 

_ Focus _ _ ,  _ _ James _ _ ,  _ _ focus _ , he  said to himself.

James followed her stumbling around the gym. She was  way too drunk and kept mumbling as he took her in his arms before she passed out. Her carried her  all the  way to her dorm.  Rose opened the door, looked at him, and sighed. 

“Come in,” she  said .  James placed her on the bed and combed her hair away from her face, sighing. “ She’ll be fine,”  Rose told him.

“ She’ll be mad at me in the morning,”  James confessed, he needed to talk  about tonight, but he wasn’t even sure he  knew what had happened exactly .

_ Maldito _ _ tequila. _

“What did you do?” she asked him,  frowning.

“More  like what didn’t I do.”  Rose patted his  back with  one hand and they both sighed together. “Buenas  noches ,  Rosa ”

“ Rosa ?”

“Yeah, its  Rose in Spanish, it’s cuter.”

“ Good night  James , and thank you, you’re  one of the  good ones.” She smiled at him and closed the door. 

James was alone in the dark hall of the dorms and walked  back to the gym to clean up the mess and then to his barracks. 

_ Damn, it had been so  _ _ close _ _ , so fucking  _ _ close…  _

 

***

James had woken up this morning with a terrible headache and a feeling that something was wrong, very wrong. He hadn’t seen Shepard yet, nor at breakfast nor at the showers. A bad feeling was sinking into his stomach as the day progressed. He couldn’t stop thinking about how close he had been last night to let himself go and... 

_ I’m so fucking stupid _ , he said to himself. 

James remembered her smell, her  beautiful body pressed against his, and how hard he had been just from that. 

_ I did the right thing _ , he  thought . 

If he had slept with her, it  would ’ve been weird, and drunk sex wasn’t  pretty from his experience. But he  really  wanted to sleep with her, and to kiss her. They hadn’t  kissed last night though. He touched his neck remembering how she had  kissed him there, and  her hand … the memory of  her hand going down his chest and abs to sneak into his fatigues. He was getting aroused. 

_ Stop,  _ _ James _ _ , por Dios _ . 

He had done the right thing, and now that she was interested, he could ask her on a proper date, with less alcohol and more of just the two of them alone. He would take her to dinner and then to a quiet place, so he would finally kiss her like she deserved to be kissed. James smiled, absorbed by his thoughts, heading to the gym when he saw Shepard in the target practice area. He waved at her, but she ignored him. She looked at him and turned her gaze away. 

James stood there watching her for a while. Commander  Aller was barking something at her.

“What’s wrong with you today? I will not tolerate this  attitude in my class,” he  said . “We’re working with guns here,  this is not a joke,”  Aller lectured her, but she was just standing there looking at the void. “Pick up the weapons and clean them.  All of them.” 

James finally gave up to his instincts and went to talk to her.

“How are you?” James said, a little worried.

“I can’t  deal with you  right now, leave me alone .” She didn’t even  look at him.

“What? Shepard, I…” he was going to say he was sorry about last night, but she interrupted him.

“I don’t  wanna talk  about it, just  leave me alone .”

“ Fine ,”  James said and left,  upset and  pissed .

“Fine, then,” Shepard said.

_She must have_ _the_ _last_ _word_ , James thought. _What the fuck did I do to deserve that?_ _Mierda_ _._ James kept walking towards the gym. Maybe a punching bag was exactly what he needed. 

 

***

Two hours later, James was still pissed and upset, but also tired. His knuckles were numb and red. There was a small group gathered outside. He walked over there to find out what was going on when he saw Shepard. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor. She jumped into some guy’s arms, with black hair and a prominent beard, and he had both hands on Shepard’s backside, carrying her as if she weighed nothing, both laughing.

“I’ve missed you, girl,” he said, spinning her  around .

James saw her smile, listened to her laugh and his heart broke. How could she be this happy all of a sudden? Her smile disappeared as soon as she saw him in the crowd looking at her. 

James was angry.  No. Jealous, and everyone who looked at his face could see it.  Shepard  got out of the embrace, and the guy put an arm around her shoulders, kissing her on the forehead.  James was staring, hurt and surprised at how stupid his feelings had been for her.

“You’ve  got competition,  James , and a  big one,”  Jake said to him.

“I’ve got nothing, and I didn’t ask you.” James didn’t need Jake messing with him right now.

“Easy there,  big boy. That’s  Kaidan Alenko ,”  Jake said , chuckling, and leaving him there, still watching at how  Shepard and this  _ Kaidan Alenko _ were walking towards the mess hall.

James felt miserable, he hated his life right now. How did he get involved with Shepard to the point that last night they were about to sleep with each other, and, in less than 24 hours, he was here alone and feeling so empty and sad? 

_ I  _ _ lost _ _ her. She was never  _ _ mine. _ _ It was  _ _ just _ _ an illusion _ . 

James just sat down, leaning against the front building watching the sun disappear into the horizon. Lost in his own despair.

“Hey,  James , are you  okay ?”  Harry was standing in  front of him.

“No, I’m not  okay .”  James buried his head between his arms. 

“You want to talk  about it?”  Harry asked, patting his back.

“Not  now,  please.” 

“Come on, let’s take a shower and go to sleep, tomorrow will be a brand new day.  She’s not worth it.” 

H is friend was trying to cheer him up, but it wasn’t working.

“But she is,  Harry , she  really  is.” He swallowed and accepted his friend’s hand to stand  up .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why drop here a random guy when I can drop Mr. Alenko as an exboyfriend?  
> Shepard is an ass here, right?


	7. Chapter 7

The Hot Bird was impossible tonight, James didn’t know how his friends had convinced him to go outside after the week he had had. James had run into Shepard too many times this week, and it hurt every single one of them. Since the poker night and the morning after, she had been avoiding him and well; he had been avoiding her too. He thought about talking to her again, but what was he going to say?

She didn’t want him near her; she had been orbiting Kaidan since he arrived, quickly forgetting about him. For what he found out, Kaidan was Shepard’s ex-boyfriend, someone she inevitably went back to over, and over again. The only thing that cheered him up a little was that Rose told him they weren’t together, and they hadn’t been in a long time. But how long would that situation last was out of his control. He wanted Kaidan out of the villa, out of his life, and out of Shepard's reach.

_Joder, jealous again._

James focused in his routine during the week and now on the beer in front of him. Gilly, Denny, and Harry were chatting and laughing but he was lost in his own thoughts. He wanted to be laughing too, but his heart was broken. He glanced at the jukebox and it reminded him of the first time he had seen her there, happy and dancing. It had been only three months, but it felt like ages ago. A half-smile crept up in his face at the thought of her.

 _I’m a lost cause,_ he thought, _even now I’m in love with her_.

He stood up and finished his beer. “Guys, I’m leaving,” he announced. “I need a long walk to clear my head.”

“Are you sure?” Denny asked.

“I am sure, thank you, really,” he said and left them there. He needed to be alone and not think about anything right now. The cold of the night would help and the long walk would exhaust him enough to fall asleep tonight.

James left the bar and looked at the black sky with both his hands into his pockets. He breathed in the cold air and he was about to walk when he saw Shepard and Kaidan at his right. Shepard was against the wall and Kaidan had his forearm over her head, leaning over her. His other hand was holding her chin with his thumb, whispering something in her ear. She closed her eyes and tears ran across her face when she suddenly pushed him and freed herself from his spell. James stood stock still, watching the scene from afar. Shepard cleaned up her tears with the back of her hand and caught him watching her. James just ignored her and swiftly walked down the road in front of him.

 _I need to get away from this bullshit_ , he thought.

“Wait! Wait, James, talk to me,” Shepard yelled, quickly catching up with him.

“I don’t wanna talk to you or to anyone right now,” James told her. The other day she barked at him and now she wanted to talk.

“Why won't you talk to me, James?” Shepard’s voice was broke, but he kept walking.

“Really? Now you want to talk? Because you had no problem ignoring me the other day,” James threw at her face.

“As if you cared,” Shepard snorted, and it triggered James’ anger.

“I care about you, and you’re so blind and selfish you can’t see it, joder” he barked at her.

“Fuck it, you don’t give a shit about me, and you proved it the other night,” she fumed at him. “Or do I have to remind you that you rejected me?” She had to double time her steps to follow his pace, but she did, stubborn as she was.

“You really can’t admit you fucked up, can’t you?” James snorted. “I didn’t reject you, and you know it,” he said, stopping to stand in front of her and fixing his eyes on hers.

“Shut up!” Shepard shouted, glaring at him. But he wouldn’t, not now.

“I did the right thing, you got mad at me for it, and you just jumped onto the next guy. Is that how it works for you?”

“You know nothing about me. You didn’t want me. You said it yourself,” Shepard swallowed.

“Because I want to kiss you while you’re sober, Shepard!” he roared at her. “I want to take you on a date and treat you right, that’s what you deserve.”

“I don’t give a fuck about that,” Shepard’s eyes were glistening with tears and she blinked angrily. “Never had it. Don’t need it.”

“I'm done then,” he surrendered, he would not have this conversation.

“James! Wait, please,” Shepard begged him.

“No, that’s it. It’s all fucked up.” Tears coming out of his eyes. “Go back to your Kaidan,” he challenged her.

“I don’t give a fuck about Kaidan,” she cried out loud.

“Shepard.” He turned around to look at her into her eyes again. “You don’t give a fuck about a lot of things and, sadly, I’m one of them.”

“It's not like that, I… I didn’t know,” she stuttered. “All I knew was you didn’t want me,” she finally said.

“You know me better than that,” James simply told her and kept walking.

“Wait, James,” unwanted tears pouring from her eyes. “Please…” She had stopped following him and he was getting away. James wanted to turn around and hold her, and kiss her, and make sure she was okay, but he couldn’t. He cared about her too much and it hurt. Whatever he would say would only make it worse. So, he just kept walking in the dark and left her there, crying. James had at least an hour to walk before reaching the villa, and he was grateful for it. The tears dried up in his cheeks as he kept walking into the cold night.

 

***

It was Tuesday afternoon and James had been avoiding Shepard since last Friday night. He was hurting, but she would leave tomorrow and, at least then, he wouldn't run into her anymore. Shepard had to go to Torfan. James knew it was a dangerous mission and that the Alliance was crazy for wanting to retaliate for the Skyllian Blitz. But she would be leaving. He sighed and sat at his usual spot at the front of the building. It was something he had been doing every evening this past week, just watching the sun go down and drift into the darkness as the day ended. It helped him calm his spirit. Although he sat there thinking about Shepard most of the time.

James closed his eyes and rested his head against the hard wall. Suddenly, he sensed someone beside him and he opened his eyes. It was Rose.

“Hello, James,” she said to him while sitting by his side.

“Hola, Rosa, how are you doing?” He gave her a half-smile.

“I should be asking that of you,” Rose told him.

“Truth or polite answer?” He glanced at her. “I’m in deep shit right now and have been for the last week and a half.”

“You two need to talk again, James,” she suggested.

“What for? She doesn’t want me around and she doesn’t give a fuck.” He looked at his hands, fidgeting nervously.

“She’s her own worst enemy.” Rose sighed. “I've seen her fuck up so many things in her life I lost count. I call it self-sabotage, and that’s what she did with you.”

“That’s no excuse,” he said.

“I know. I'm sorry she hurt you.” She put a hand on his knee. “But I can tell she really cares about you, more than you think. She doesn’t take rejection well, and she knows she fucked up.”

“I just...”

“I know, and that’s why I'm talking to you because you’re the only good thing that happened to her in a very long time,” Rose confessed to him, looking directly into his eyes. She was telling the truth, but she wasn’t Shepard.

“Besides Kaidan, you mean.” He suddenly got upset again thinking about them, even if he hadn’t seen them together or anything. But he could tell there was history between them and he arrived at the perfect moment to see her drift away from him.

“Kaidan doesn’t love her.” James noticed Rose didn’t like the guy very much. “She’s just entertainment for when he’s lonely and suddenly remembers she exists,” she explained. “It has been like that for years since she was sixteen. She’s just following a pattern there, a very sick and a  toxic one, if you ask me.”

“Everything is so fucked up… I lost my chance, she will never look at me the same way.” James ran his hands through his hair. It was longer again, the haircut she had given him had grown out some time ago now. He smiled bitterly  at that.

“You’re wrong. She has cried more for you in the last four days than I have seen her cry in the last four years.” Rose was trying to make him see that Shepard really cared about him even if she had acted like that. “And if she finds out I told you that, she will kill me.”

“That’s not a consolation.” He swallowed.

“James, I'm just saying that she will leave tomorrow, and you won't see her for two weeks, maybe more,” Rose said, wringing her hands. “You two should use that time to clear your heads about everything, but do you really want her to leave without saying goodbye?”

“That’s going to be hell, not talking to her is hard enough but not seeing her… Damn, Rose, you were supposed to make me feel better,” James complained.

She chuckled and hugged him awkwardly. “Say farewell, please, James. It is a dangerous mission, and she has a tendency to throw herself into a bloodbath just to feel alive.”

“I’ll think about it,” he lied. “I have to go, the boys and I are going to have a drink at the Hot Bird. They have some kind of intervention prepared because they’re worried.” He stood up and helped Rose up. “If you see her, could you tell her I’m sorry?”

“I’ll do more than that, James, take care.” She squeezed his shoulder and left. James hesitated if he should go find Shepard now, but she wouldn’t want to see him or talk to him. Shepard had been an asshole, but he had not been better the other night, leaving her crying at the side of the road and walking away.

 

***

Later that night, James sat at a table with Harry and Denny, silently enjoying their whiskeys. The beer wasn’t strong enough for him today. The bar was quiet, just the regulars. He was still digesting his conversation with Rose. Shepard was leaving tomorrow, and they hadn’t spoken since last Friday at the Hot Bird, and it was killing him. He was plotting how to talk to her tomorrow morning before she would leave as desperation settled in his heart.

 _She won’t talk_ _to me,_ _she will leave and won’t even_ _loo_ _k at me_ , he thought.

James felt a pair of familiar eyes on him and raised his head from the glass. He saw Shepard coming into the bar as his heart skipped a beat and a knot blocked his throat. She looked at him with infinite regret in her eyes and he looked back at her with the same gaze. James almost smiled at her by instinct, but he couldn’t, not when things were this messed up. James emptied his glass and tapped it on the table, startling his friends, who were distracted by their own thoughts, and now became aware of Shepard’s presence near the table.

She slowly approached him, almost hesitating. “James, please,” she said, begging him with her eyes. He just looked at the table and nodded his head. He didn’t want to talk, but he couldn’t look at her and tell her to go away. Everything that had happened in the last week was crawling in his head over, and over. What he did wrong. What she did wrong.

Shepard walked towards the jukebox and removed her hoodie to leave it on top of it. James watched her as she was looking for a song. She found it, and _Bell bottom blues_ started playing in the background. Then she turned around to James’ table. She rested a hand on his shoulder and said:

“Wanna dance, Vega?”

James couldn't deny her, If he wouldn’t talk, at least he could dance. He sensed her hand running down his arm and taking his hand to help him stand up. He realized he wasn’t mad at her anymore that everything that had been tormenting him was drifting away by the touch of her hand. She led him slowly near the jukebox. The music playing in the background, the bar was quiet except for the music. If the clients were looking at them they weren’t paying attention.

Bell bottom blues, you made me cry

I don’t want to lose this feeling

And if I could choose a place to die

It would be in your arms.

 

James was broken and still, he would let her take him wherever she wanted. He stood still as she slid her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. She sighed like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. He instinctively placed his hands around her waist, bringing her to him and relishing the calming weight of her head against him, her body warm and soft. They were barely moving, following their own sad slow dance, an 'I’m so sorry I fucked up' -dance. He smelled her hair. Vanilla. James could get lost in her so easily it was scary.

Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you?

Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back?

I’d gladly do it because

I don’t want to fade away

Give me one more day, please

I don’t want to fade away

In your heart, I want to stay

 

Her hands were now openly touching his neck, rubbing her fingers against the little hairs on his nape.

“I am so sorry, James,” she whispered into his ear. “I am so, so sorry. I fucked up and I have no excuse.”

He grunted as she was touching his neck and it was too much. He was sorry too, but the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

Shepard hid her face on the hollow of his neck, holding him tightly. Her breath brushed his skin and sighed. James craved her like no one else before, and he buried his head into her hair.

It’s all wrong, but it’s all right

The way that you treat me, baby

Once I was strong, but I lost the fight

You won’t find a better loser

 

James tightened the grip on her waist and brought her closer to him. She raised her head to look at him. His eyes were watery, but he kept her gaze, dancing slowly with her. She was made for him, he knew it deep inside.

“Is this your way of calling me a loser, Shepard?” he said, referring to the lyrics of the song.

“I'm the loser, James, because I didn’t see what I had in front of me.” She stumbled over her own words. He tried not to smile and failed miserably, shaking his head. Her hands were still touching his neck, and it was driving him mad, the warmth and the closeness of her body against his, slowly moving as the song played. She looked directly into his eyes.

“I'm sorry I hurt you, James.”

“I'm sorry too. I hate that I made you cry.” He kissed her on the forehead and then rested his cheek against it.

“James,” she swallowed. “Am I sober enough for you to kiss me?”

All he wanted was in front of him. Her. He could see her melting in his arms, doubt in her eyes, vulnerable, asking for a kiss. James cupped her cheek with one hand while the other sank a little further down her back. They stopped moving. The world around them disappeared because he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Softly at first, to see if it was real, then he deepened the kiss and grunted, slightly opening his mouth at her, stealing a moan from her lips. He smiled as he was kissing her, pure joy invading his body, letting his tongue tease inside her mouth, tasting her for the first time.

Shepard held him closer., rubbing her lips against his, her velvety rose lips, so soft and delicious he couldn’t help but catch her lower lip with his teeth for a brief moment. James knew she wanted him, he could tell by their kiss that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. And they lost themselves in the kiss, their tongues pressed against each other mimicking their bodies, trying to melt into this very moment.

Someone at the bar cheered at them and they broke the kiss, chuckling, realizing they weren’t alone at all. She was blushing, a soft pink flush covering her cheeks, and he smiled at her, releasing the grip on her body. He saw a little disappointment in her face at that, so he let his left arm rest over her shoulders. The song had been over long ago.

“You should’ve played _Layla_ , instead,” he told her, hugging her close to him.

“And why is that?” she said, still flushed and embarrassed.

“Because you got me on my knees, Lola.” James kissed her on the head.

 

***

 James was patiently waiting for her outside in the patio. The recruits were in the armory picking up their things for deployment. He had a grin all over his face just remembering his last night kiss with Shepard. It was 6:00 and yet, here he was.

Last night they were too overwhelmed, and she had left him there with his friends to go back to her dorm and get some rest for today. And he had stayed there with his friends, drinking, laughing, feeling like the happiest man alive.

Now he watched the shuttle landing; he had expected that he would be sad, but he wasn’t. They were soldiers, and he knew she would come back to him. They both had something to long for and James would make the wait worth it.

The shore party came out of the armory and walked towards him, some recruits greeted him and some ignored his newbie ass, but James was only looking for her. Always the last one. She was smiling, a beautiful smile that widened as soon as their eyes met. Shepard walked towards him slowly, in her heavy armor, a light breeze moving little hairs on her head. She stopped in front of him as close as her armor let her.

“Buenos días, Lola.” He smiled broadly.

“Morning, Vega.”

They were both stupidly grinning at each other. She closed the distance and lightly brushed her lips against his, making him hum. James wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close as if he had been doing that forever. Their lips pressed together with the shyness of a second kiss, as they temptingly opened their mouths to each other, her tongue teasing him and driving him crazy. Shepard moaned into his mouth and he loved it. He wanted more. He wanted everything. He avidly kissed her back, devouring her lips, poor velvety lips, swollen and pink from his greed.

“Wait for me, James,” Shepard gasped.

“Is that an order, Lola?”

She kissed him again, pressing her lips against that stupid half-smile he had.

“I’ll wait for you," he said. "I’ll always wait for you.” His voice was husky, and she tremble into his arms. “When you come back, I will take you…”

She covered his mouth with her lips and spoke against them. “Don’t tell me now, tell me when I come back.” He chuckled against her lips and sneaked his tongue again inside her mouth, he just couldn’t stop himself.

“Good Morning,” Captain Barnes greeted them as he walked past them.

James let go of her and watched her bite her lower lip as she turned around and followed the Captain. The next two weeks would be painful and long, but damn if he wasn’t walking on air right now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James gets his date with Shepard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is purely smut and fluff (and I am not a very good smut writer or writer in general, but here it is).  
> I just wanted to say that if smut is something you're not into, the next Chapter will wrap up the story and you can skip this one.
> 
> Being said that, I hope you like it! <3

James was driving to a beautiful spot he had found when she had been on duty. Harry had lent him the pickup truck for his date with Shepard, and James would have to give him an extra percentage of the winnings at poker for the rest of the year, but he  really  wanted it to be special, something to remember for the rest of their lives. 

_ Our first date _ , he thought, pure delight inside his heart. 

The place was pretty much deserted around the villa, but he found a big solitary tree and the perfect spot to watch the nightfall and enjoy each other’s company. James  was thrilled , he had dreamt about this for so long as he fell in love with her, and she was  finally  by his side, in that beautiful shirtdress, that  emphasized  her  perfectly  toned legs.

“Eyes on the road, James!” She caught him looking at her again, but James only had eyes for her today. He didn't need to hide his feelings anymore, and he had missed her to death these past three weeks.

James had everything planned: they would watch the sunset and then they would eat what he had prepared, sandwiches and beer, not the fanciest meal in the world but the best he could do in a military base. He even had gotten  a box  chocolates for her as Rose had told him she had a sweet tooth. He parked the pickup truck near the tree and they both climbed into the back of the trunk to sit there. James arranged a blanket so they wouldn’t have to sit on the cold metal.

“This is my first date, ever,” Shepard told him, admiring the orange skyline.

“I must be the luckiest man alive, then,” James said, winking at her while Shepard chuckled and snuggled against him.

They were both sitting against the back of the truck.  He put his arm around her shoulders and saw her fidget with the fabric of his jeans.  James felt like everything in his life had led him there, to this moment with her.  He had never questioned whether he was happy until now because he knew deep inside, this was what true happiness  felt like.

“Thank you for this, James. It’s perfect,” she said.

He pressed his lips lovingly against hers, and she gasped into his mouth. “I want you, Lola.”

“I should be mad at you for calling me by another woman’s name, but I  actually  like it.” Shepard laughed. “It’s something between you and me.” 

James smiled and kissed her again, wrapping an arm around her waist. He was trying so hard not to get distracted by her legs brushing his thighs, and the dress riding up over her knees. He had waited weeks for her, he could wait a little longer.

“I brought food if…” he said, but got interrupted by her. 

“I’m not hungry,” Shepard told him, a predatory look in her eyes that ignited him inside. “Not for food anyhow.” Shepard trapped his lips and opened her mouth to him, letting her tongue slip out to trace the line of his lips. And he kissed her back, stroking his tongue  eagerly  against hers and drifting into a long kiss that clenched his stomach and tightened the space in his jeans surprisingly fast. 

_ There’s no way I’m stopping you tonight, Lola _ . 

James trembled,  feeling her hand at his inner thigh, and his hand moved from her waist to her leg, playing with the seam of her dress while their tongues kept playing with each other and their bodies yielding until they lay down. James rolled over her, landing soft kisses along her jaw and neck. Her skin was just how he had imagined, soft and inviting, her taste so familiar it  felt like home.

“I thought maybe you didn’t want this tonight, being such a good boy and all that,” Shepard teased. 

“I’m a good boy, Lola, but I’m not  _ that _ good,” he said with a low husky voice. 

“ You’re already driving me crazy with that hand, James, is it ever going to dare under my skirt?” she challenged. 

James loved how hot-headed and impatient she was sometimes. He bit her neck gently , bringing her legs to him while his hand  finally  ventured under the dress to touch her thigh and trail a playful path to her ass. Shepard caressed the back of his neck while he was kissing and nibbling her neck,  feeling her body tremble under his touch and soft whines leave her mouth.

Shepard moaned when his fingers sneaked inside her underwear, and she helped him get rid of the unwanted piece of clothing quickly. James took a moment to look at Shepard while she tried to undo the button of his jeans with  little luck.  He had a hunch that his life would be very different now she was in it.   But any smart thoughts vanished when she managed to slid down his fly and palmed him through the fabric of his boxers. 

James’ hand traveled down her inner thigh, tickling her skin and giving her goosebumps, going up again to tease her between her legs as he  felt her hips moving towards him, searching  eagerly  for his hand. James burned for her, he had wanted this for so long he couldn’t believe it was actually happening. He didn’t want to wait anymore to  feel her, and his fingers ventured between her folds and stroked her gingerly, relishing in the moans that left her mouth while they kissed, a noise made in heaven. James caressed between her legs jauntily now, teasing her entrance, and soaking his fingers in her, dazzled by his own thirst for her.

“Dios  mío , Lola, you’re so wet.” His husky voice against her neck made her shiver, and she rocked her hips against his hand. He greedily fondled her folds as though he was melting butter with his fingers,  feeling her swollen nub throbbing every time he went over it. James looked at her face, blushed and flustered in need from the soft touch of his hand. 

“Slow down, James” she said, clasping her hand with his. James chuckled and kissed her cheek, allowing her to move his hand as she pleased,  gently  stroking her clit with their fingers joined together until she let go, and her hand sneaked  eagerly  inside his briefs to wrap his hand around his hard cock.

“You looking for something there?” James said, and she bit her lip as her hand squeezed his length demandingly . 

“I don’t seek, I find,” Shepard said as a mischievous smile spread on her lips. 

A low moan left his lungs while Shepard stroked him firmly and his heart thumped faster. The grin of happiness on his face only masked by their kisses, as they both pleasured each other, craving for more after three weeks apart. Then, both their hands tangled  clumsily  in his jeans to pull them down to his knees as she wrapped one leg around his waist. He  felt his length teasing at her entrance and they both groaned in unison. 

“I got condoms, let me grab one real quick,” James said, cursing himself for keeping them in the glove box of the car and not in his pocket.

“I took care of it. It’s  alright ,” Shepard said, cupping his face and tracing his lips with her thumb. “If that’s okay with you cause I’ve never...” She blushed, and it melted James’ heart.

“Me neither, Lola,” he said, trying to sound confident, and masking the thrill bursting at the intimacy they were sharing, the trust in her voice and words. And then he wasn’t thinking anymore,  blissed out by her face and drowned in her beautiful eyes. James  felt her hips rocking underneath him and he surrendered, enraptured by her lusciousness, and slid his member inside her. She was soft, wet and warm.  She was home, and he wanted this moment to last forever. 

A shudder of sheer pleasure ran through him as she enveloped him in this intimate embrace. He was making love to the woman he loved even if she didn’t know yet. She whined into his ear as he thrust into her, trying to control the urge to pump faster into her and let all this pleasure burn him alive. But he didn’t. He  eagerly  reached for her mouth and put a hand behind her head to devour her,  greedily  and deeply . His hips  rhythmically  thrusting into her as his tongue assailed her mouth until they were out of breath.

“You  don’t know how much I wanted this,” he told her, pulling out to sink his cock again inside her,  feeling her legs tremble at both sides of his body and a gasp leaving her mouth.

“Don’t stop.” Her voice was husky and tinted with lust, the warmth of her breath brushing his shoulder.  She tightened around his cock, and he sensed her orgasm building up as much as he  felt the pressure down in his balls. He couldn’t help looking at her, she was so ready and so beautiful, it was unbearable, but Shepard drew him into a deep kiss, grunting against his mouth, urging him to keep moving faster, harder.  James knew how much she wanted him, and he was so close too.

James wanted nothing more in his life than to please, letting go and thrusting relentlessly inside her, her warm folds enveloping him as he hid his face in the hollow of her neck. James relished in her breathless moans, and her muscles tightening around his length. The fulfillment, her trembling body, her scent, all of it sent him over the edge as he onslaughts of his hips became irregular and deep and he huffed against her neck. Shepard cried out his name, writhing under his weight as she came right before he did. His orgasm joined hers as an overwhelming jolt of pleasure shook his body and he spilled himself inside her in a mix of joy and lust he had never experienced before. 

“You’re so perfect, Lola,” he said with a growl, still inside her, enjoying the pulsing waves of her orgasm around his half-hard cock.

“Fuck, James,” she chuckled, breathless. She cupped his face with her hands and pressed her lips  lovingly  against his. “It was perfect, so perfect, you’re perfect…” she mumbled against his mouth while he chuckled and blushed at the praise. Then they just stared into each other’s eyes, still inside her, lost in her eyes, until he saw a twitch on the corner of her lip. “Now I am hungry. What did you get us?” Shepard said, and he laughed at that pretty blushed face and helped her sit up while he fixed his jeans in place again.

“I had everything  perfectly  planned, Lola.” He pretended to shake his head in disappointment.

“It's still perfect, we  just  changed the order.” She winked at him. “I  really  missed you, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve been thinking about this for three weeks.”

“Me too.” He smiled at her and pulled the sandwiches out, taking two beers from the cooler too. He opened one using the side of the truck and offered it to her, opening one for himself too.

“To us,” Shepard said, “and to a lot more moments with you like this.”

“To us,” he replied. The beers clinked together. James couldn’t believe how this amazing woman had fallen for him, and he got a hint of fear thinking he might lose her sooner than later, but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind and kissed her, tasting the beer in her mouth. 

_ We’re here now _ .

The sun was  completely  down by the time they finished eating, but there was still that faint lightning, that magic light that concealed your fears and let your true-self out.

“How is it to have a family, James?” she asked him.

His heart broke at her words even if he knew it wasn’t a sad question, but she had no family. “Well, even if things  didn’t work out with my father, I have my  _ abuela _ and my  _ tío _ . They live at the coast in San Diego and I love coming back there. I  really  miss them.”

“I can imagine, but how is it?” James knew what she wanted him to tell her.  She wanted to know he had been loved that he had been happy as a child.

“I go there on shore leave and they welcome me with a lot of food, and when I say a lot, I mean a _ lot  _ of food.” He opened his arms to make a point. “My mother’s family is huge, and they all get together for celebrations, we  gather together for lunch and we end up having breakfast the morning after. It  is pretty intense , but I love it,” he hesitated. “We can go there on our next shore leave. Together.” He rubbed his neck.

She smiled. “I’d love to, James.” And she gave him a peck on the cheek. They watched how the stars became brighter in the sky as the darkness embraced them.

“So, I assume you liked my dress?” she joked, arching an eyebrow at him.

“Very, very much.” His low growl right to her neck made her shudder. 

“Thank Rose and Gilly the next time you see them, though I kept my sneakers because I can’t walk in high-heels,” she said, lifting her feet in the air.

“ Really ? Something Shepard can’t do! A miracle!” He laughed, and she punched him  lightly  in the stomach.

“James, the first time we met, at the Hot Bird, you  wanted to buy me a drink, right?”

“The night at the bar?” Shepard nodded. 

“I was scared to death but yes, I was about to. Though that wasn’t the first time I saw you.”  He knew she hadn’t  really  noticed him the first day she arrived at the villa.

“ I remember you from that day, with your sweet smile and your tequila shots,” she recalled. 

“ I saw you the day you arrived at the villa, waited there to welcome the new recruits, well more like, I waited for you, an N5 awarded the Star of Terra, you know,  pretty  impressive,” James confessed.

“ Really ? I don’t remember you from that day, but I was aware you knew who I was because of  the  _ I _ _ know _ when I introduced myself at the bar. That was just brilliant, oh how I loved it, James.” She laughed at him, but James didn’t mind it.

“Damn, I was so nervous,” he said. “The day you arrived you  were distracted , you even had hurt your arm.”

“I lost a friend to the  batarians . We always claim in the Alliance that 'no one’s left behind' bullshit but that day we left a friend behind, even if he  was already gone ,” Shepard said angrily . 

“I’m sorry, Shepard,” James said, kissing her forehead to comfort her.

“Me too. If I ever get to be in charge, I won’t leave anyone behind no matter what,” she promised.

“You can’t foresee those things, I’ m afraid .” James was playing with her hair as they spoke, because suddenly , even after not seeing her for three weeks, touching her was easy, it  felt natural and it  felt right.

“But I'll try my damn best, James.” 

He kissed her head again and hugged her tighter,  feeling her body against him. They lay on the trunk again, having finished their drinks and with a dark sky spotted with stars to look at. Shepard rested her head on his shoulder and he enjoyed how she played with his hand over her belly. Then he remembered:

“Lola! I haven’t seen your tattoos yet. Did you lie to me ?” James inquired her, making her laugh.

“You haven’t been looking for them thoroughly ,” Shepard said with a smug smile painting her face.

“Is that a challenge?” James asked as she chuckled, unbuttoning her dress until he stopped her hand. “Let me do that.” And, like unwrapping a Christmas present, he defeated the buttons, one by one, revealing her beautiful breasts cupped by a black lace bra.

“Who do I have to thank for that?” he said, tracing the lace pattern of the bra.

“I love wearing cute things from time to time, military regulations are boring,” she told him.

“Thank you, Lola.” He kissed her lips and traced his way down to her jaw and neck  to finally kiss her glorious breasts now at his reach, rubbing his mouth against the lace until he  felt her nipple perking up.

“You’re losing focus. Weren’t you looking for tattoos?” she wanted it to sound like a complaint but failed. James shushed her and slid a hand at her side, lifting her to reach her back and unclip her bra.

“That was some impressive skill, Vega,” she said, removing the straps from her arms and tossing the bra aside, still with her dress on.

“I’d say _that_ was even more impressive,” James said, not sure if for the discarded bra or her beautiful round breasts barely covered by the fabric of the dress. He unbuttoned another one and another one, exposing her navel. James admired her partially naked torso and smiled at her. 

“Eres  preciosa , Shepard.”

“Keep looking, Vega,” she said, blushing at the praise.

His fingers stroked her skin near her navel going up lazily,  feeling her breathing movements along with it, until he stopped between her breasts and cupped one with his hand, touching her nipple with his thumb. James wanted to taste her so bad  that  he  unconsciously  dropped his head to reach the other breast, pushing the fabric aside with his nose, and trapping a rosy tip into his mouth. She caressed his nape and the skin behind his ear, tickling him as James rubbed his tongue against her hard tip and sucked until he stole a whine from her. Then he landed small kisses all around the pink flesh.

“You’re  pretty  close,” she gasped.

“Oh, really ?” he mumbled against her breast, still caressing the other one with his hand. “You can’t blame me for getting a little distracted Lola.” 

He looked for a tattoo, for something out of place around her skin, relishing at the view in the meantime, when he saw something at her side.  “Found it.” He moved the fabric of her dress away to reveal a circle made from two snakes,  endlessly  trying to eat each other.

“Awful, right?” Shepard sighed. “The gang made us get that tattoo, at least I convinced them it would be sexy as hell hidden there,” she laughed as he kissed it.

“Everything that’s a part of you is beautiful.” He was, again, distracted and kissing his way to her nipple, humming against her skin. “I still need to find one more.”

“ Technically  two,” she teased him, running her fingers through his hair.

James thought he was very lucky that tonight was a full moon and the silvery light was bathing them, so, even in the dark of the night, he could admire her body and her shape. And she was stunning. 

_ I could spend my whole life worshiping her body and wouldn’t tire of it _ .

“I think I will have to check south from here Lola, because I might have missed something earlier.” He kept unbuttoning the dress until the end, noticing she hadn’t put her underwear back on and  feeling a sudden urge at his groin, he hadn’t fastened his jeans  properly  either. 

James had a wolfish grin on his face as he went down on her, and then he saw it. His hand grabbed her hip, letting the dress fall to a side, and his thumb caressed the little wing there, a tribal wing the perfect size for her body. He kissed it first,  feeling the warmth of her skin. Then he licked her tattoo, and she arched her spine at the stroke of his tongue. 

“And I’m guessing you have another one on the other side, Lola?” He bit his lip looking up at Shepard, who was resting on her forearms, watching him attentively . She nodded, and he repeated the process on the other wing. “You're so tasty,” he said against her skin. 

James pressed his lips again on her flesh and she tilted her head back with a moan, her legs  unconsciously  spreading apart. He traced an imaginary line between the wings with his tongue. James couldn’t help but go a little lower and kiss her clit, rubbing his lips  gently  on it until she moaned an approval. Then, he stroked the little nub with his tongue, lovingly , tasting it as her hips tilted against him. 

“Qué rica estás, Lola,” he said, and sucked a little faster, the rumble of his voice sending shivers through her body. And she was tasty, she was perfection in his mouth. James made her moan and shudder circling the soft skin around her clit, teasing the swollen nub and sucking fast, then slow, playing with her until she was nothing more than a sore mess at his mercy.

“Come up here,” Shepard said, her voice lacking air. James chuckled against her flesh and she jerked her hips,  grabbing his shirt by the neck and pulling him up. “Come here, now,” she ordered. She helped him remove his shirt and pulled down his jeans again. Then, she jumped on top of him, making James lie down completely . And her face while she looked at him, while she inspected and maped with her hands every part of his upper body, her eyes glittered with lust and James deeply enjoyed how she praised his body with loving caresses and kisses, until she secured his wrists at both sides of his head.

“You know I can  easily  escape this, right Lola?”

“But you don’t want to,” she said.  He  felt the warmth of her core against his member, rocking her hips to pleasure herself with his cock. He groaned in need. “Now it's my turn to drive you mad.”

“I believe you’ve been doing that for a while now,” he said. 

James watched her on top of him, the dress  completely  open now and Shepard naked underneath. He grabbed her hips and caressed the little wings with his thumbs as Shepard took his cock in her hand and pumped long strokes from his hilt to the tip.  James didn’t know how he could already be this hard again, but the sight of her was so tantalizing, and the touch of her hand felt so good. 

“I knew your hand would be cold, Lola,” he teased her. 

“If you want I can stop,” she said, squeezing his length with her hand.

“No, por favor,” he groaned, and she lifted her hips and guided him to her entrance with one hand. He wanted to thrust into her, but at the same time, he wanted to watch how she  slowly  took him inside her. She was sheer perfection, he had seen nothing more fierce and beautiful than her. 

Shepard moved up and down, at a slow pace that made him  feel every single movement, her warm folds pulsing around his shaft, buried deep inside her as she rocked her hips and pulled his cock out to sink it again deep inside.

“I haven’t told you before but,” she moaned. “You’re fucking big, James.” 

“Happy to please, Lola,” James grunted, watching his cock disappear once more in her. 

He clawed his fingers into her ass as she leaned forward to kiss him, rocking her hips against him faster, biting his neck and then licking his lips, not letting him catch her mouth until he needed more. His lewdness got the better of him and he sat up, pressing one hand at the small of her back. She moaned as he buried himself deep inside her , her knees yielding at both sides of his body while his hands pulled her hips down urgently . 

James trapped one breast in his mouth and sucked on her nipple. The small movements of his hips met Shepard’s who rocked her body against him faster, taking him almost out  to swiftly take him inside again. He changed to the other breast and led a hand between her legs to tease at her clit with his thumb, at the pace of her hips. She was close and he could sense it, her orgasm building up  quickly  as he sucked her nipple while his thumb rubbed her clit relentlessly . He  felt her coming around his hard member and moan loudly, and James cupped her ass and bit her neck, as she fell down in his arms.

“Lola, I need more,” he said against her neck. 

She put her arms around his neck as he leaned back and rolled on top of her, still  buried deep inside her pulsing folds. She kissed him and wrapped her legs around his waist. James’ gaze fixed in her eyes, that were telling him to keep going, to love her. Shepard nodded, and he slid one hand to her backside to cup her ass and picked up his pace, thrusting into her in a sensuous rhythm. James could  feel her breasts rubbing against his chest and her kisses on his neck. 

“I want you, James.” 

Her words sent a thrill deep inside him as his onslaughts became faster and erratic,  completely  lost in his own delectation and  feeling his throbbing member twitch in pleasure as he spilled himself inside her again.

“I won’t ever get enough of you,” he whispered into her ear, kissing her face and  finally  joining her in a deep lazy kiss.

“And I won’t ever get enough of you either,” she said, biting his lower lip.

He put on his jeans and covered her with the dress and the blanket. He lay on his back as she snuggled against him, her head resting  peacefully  against his chest and both his arms secured around her. They  were exhausted , and they let themselves go into a sweet state of peace and bliss.  James  felt small kisses over his chest while she was falling asleep,  staring at the night sky, grinning as though he was trying to preserve this moment in his memory forever.

“Did I fall asleep?” Shepard mumbled.

“Just for a moment,” he said, the rumble of his voice affected by her body over him.

“It’s a beautiful night, don’t you think?” Shepard said, both their gazes at the sky now.

“I never want it to  end , Lola,” he confessed.

“I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” she said, glancing at him. Her sleepy face melted James’ heart, and he kissed her forehead.

“One day I want to look back to this moment with you,” James said.  “I wanted to make it memorable.”

“You  definitely  made it memorable,” she chuckled against his chest and kissed him on the neck. “James,” she called his name.

“Dime, Lola.”

But she said nothing. She kissed him on the lips. James didn’t know for how long, but he caressed her lips and savoured her mouth until both their lips  were swollen and red, and fearing the moment he couldn’t reach them anymore. 

He memorized her body under the blanket, not a single inch of skin or flesh he didn’t arouse with his hands that night. He made love to her again. It had nothing to do with lust this time, it was a need to become one with her, an urge to invade her all over and print himself into her like one of her tattoos. Forever.  Just like she  was inevitably burned all over him. 

James was aware he was still too young, but he already knew this kind of love only happened once in your life and it either burned you or it killed you, but there was no escape. He  was doomed , and he could only hope life would  be kind to them. He had no doubts anymore, about her or about what she  felt . James knew. A certainty stronger than anything.

 

 

***

 Monday morning, too early to be awake or to be taking a shower, but James was too keen. When he had opened his eyes this morning, Shepard and the wonderful night they had spent last Friday came up to his mind, and the surge of energy he felt inside made him jump out of bed, excited to be alive. He was enjoying his shower a little too much today, the warm water washing him while he was stroking his hard length slowly, otherwise he would be suffering from it the whole day. He thought about their date, craving her company again. 

_ Lola, me  _ _ vas _ _ a  _ _ matar _ . 

James was intensifying his ministrations, pumping a little harder, with a hand pressed on the wall in front of him and water running down his back when the shower door opened and startled him.

“What the fuck,” he said, and covered his nakedness  as best as he could, giving the circumstances. His eyes opened wide as he saw Shepard hanging her towel next to his,  completely  naked inside the shower with him. “Dios  mío , Lola.” He  shamelessly  watched her naked backside and the hand trying to cover his member resumed its previous task.

“Need help with that?” Shepard said, arching an eyebrow at him and pressing a hand against his chest until his back rested against the tiles. She got closer to him, kissing him deeply ,  lustfully  thrusting her tongue inside his mouth. James took her gladly , his hands now touching her back and going down to her ass.

“This is how it ’s going to be from now on, Lola?” he teased her, very pleased with her visit.

“Unless you have any objection, yeah, though I can’t promise I will get up this early every day.” 

“We should stop before this place gets crowded. It’s almost 6 AM.” His words didn’t match his actions, as he turned around, pressing her against the tiles and cupping her breasts with his hands, kissing her neck and going down to kiss both her hard tips before tracing a path of kisses and nibbles down her belly and deep down between her legs, making her moan. She lifted a leg and rested it on his shoulder as he kissed her inner thigh and licked his way back to her slick folds. James kissed her entrance, his tongue teasing her as he  felt her hand tangled in his hair. James stroked her nub  mercilessly  with his tongue, without truce, he wanted to make her come here and now and fast in his mouth, until she pulled his hair to make him stop. He stood up to a hungry opened mouth that crashed against his. 

“Come on, Vega, a quick one,” her hand now stroking his hard length, squeezing at the end, and making him groan in pleasure.

“Here? In the shower?” His hands were palming her ass against the wall and his lips kissing her neck, stopping only to speak.

“What? you’ve never done it in the shower before?” she joked.

“No, Lola, I haven’t,” and he bit her for her cocky attitude as his fingers squeezed her ass. She wailed as a complaint, which he loved too much.

“Me neither, just put those muscles to a good use.” She winked at him. He grabbed her ass and lifted her while she wrapped her legs around his waist, and her arms around his neck. “Now pin me to the wall.” James pushed her back against the cold tiles to secure her. “Attaboy,” she said. 

She was light, but this still wasn’t an easy task. She sneaked a hand between their bodies to grab his member and place it at her entrance. James  felt her soaking warmth and thrust into her, making her moan in pleasure. 

“ Shhh , Lola,” he whispered into her ear, kissing her neck and nibbling her flesh while he found a rhythm and thrust into her, pushing in and out of her, Shepard’s hips angling to him at every onslaught of his body. He heard people getting into the adjoining showers.

“Lola, this place is getting crowded,” he grunted into her neck and clawed his fingers at the back of her thighs, pinning her against the wall and thrusting into her harder and faster. “I’m not going to last much longer, you know,” James chuckled.

“I’m close,” she whispered into his ear as she buried her head into his neck and bit him, repressing a moan of pure pleasure as her orgasm took over and she came around him unexpectedly fast. That sent him over the edge too,  feeling her muscles convulsing  tightly  around his cock, thrusting into her as deep as he could, again, and again until he came in one last thrust as he groaned her name. 

“Madre  mía , Lola,” he said, breathless.

“Well if they didn’t hear my moans they  definitely  heard  _ that _ ,” she chuckled.

He slipped out of her warmth as James repressed a laugh and let her step on the floor again. He was panting, thrilled, and kissed her madly , the stream of water still pouring over their heads. James stepped aside to remove the water from his eyes and watch her. The water roaming over her beautiful naked body as she turned around and tilted her head back. James  was mesmerized , delighted by her, and he joined her under the water, to steal more caresses from her body, more kisses just for him.  Anything to make her a little more his.  And then as though she was reading his mind she whispered into his ear: 

“I am yours, Vega, now and always.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years into Vega's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was always about James Vega and not Shepard because it is a character I love and I think it is really undervalued in Mass Effect (specially not even being a romance option). So this is his story, canon and adapted to this Alternate Universe where he gets to meet Shepard at a very early age.

James spent two years at the villa with Shepard, she was an N6  already and he was  almost an N4. The military life wasn’t forgiving of love, but they managed between shore leaves and encounters whenever they could. It had become their fuel.  They never asked for more than they could give to each other and it had worked so far.  James loved her with  all his heart and he knew she loved him too.  All they needed was each other.  The deployments and postings away were bearable if they came back to each other in the end, but that was about to change.

Shepard will join the Special Operations Training to become an N7. James knew she’d make  it, she had a brilliant future in front of her and he had a different one, for now. That didn’t make his love for her less meaningful, on the contrary, he loved what she did, and how she did it and she was a hero, a hell of a soldier.  She was meant to do great things and he would love her for that, even if they couldn’t be together. 

That’s the hardest part of loving someone, setting them free for who they are. James was heartbroken, but he would never hold her back.  So, he had to do the hardest thing ever: let her go.  Not because she was leaving, but because he  deeply  loved her.

“I hate  that  I have to leave, James,” Shepard told him, holding his hand beside the tree they’d been at on their first date.

“But you have  to .” He clasped her hand in his. “You will be an N7 and I need to follow my career too, wherever  it takes me .” James had a lump on his throat and despair in his heart.

“I don’t want it to  end , James.” A tear  slowly  trickled down her cheek. “I need you.”

“The Alliance will keep us busy, and we will see each other again, I know it.” James tried to comfort her even if he was the one that needed comfort too. “It has to be that way because I can't live without you, Lola”. That was the truth. “I love you.”  After two years together only now he dared to say those words to her, not because they weren’t true before, but because they were too real, too overwhelming, and so very right.

“ I know,” Shepard smiled at him.

“ I never said it because it  seemed so… frivolous to just say it,” he said. “ I ’ve never  been good with words.”

“ I ’ve always known, just  by the way  you look at me, James,” she chuckled between tears, that James didn’t know if poured down her eyes from happiness or melancholy. “ I ’ve never needed you to tell me.” She hugged him, pressing herself to him.

“But now I need to tell you because otherwise, I’d regret it my whole life.” He held her tight and he couldn’t suppress the tears any longer.  “I do love you more than anything in my life, and I always will, no matter what.”  His words were promises, true dear promises that, at the moment, were the most faithful words  to ever leave his mouth.

“I don’t deserve you,” Shepard kissed him. “But damn if I don’t love you with  all my heart too, James Vega.”

James pressed his lips against her mouth again, both crying at the imminent cliff they were facing. He tried to memorize her lips, the taste of her mouth and the shape of her swollen lips over his. The sweet taste of her tongue mixed with her tears and the fear, the fear of losing themselves and never seeing each other again. Her velvety tongue caressed his in a deep kiss  that  he would remember for the rest of his life, a kiss  that  he would come back to in so many lonely nights, before so many dangerous missions.  She was something to die for, but even more important, she was something to live for.  He wouldn’t disappoint her, he would become the man she deserved, and would come back to her as soon as he could.

“So  this is it, Lola.” He pressed his forehead against hers.

“For now,” she said, hope dancing in her words. “Find me again, please.”

 

***

James had no idea how many years would pass before he saw her again.  He tried to convince himself they’d keep in touch, that they would manage between shore leaves and their duty, but  the harsh truth was that  they couldn’t. The Alliance took her from him, and he had to live with it. 

Soon, Shepard became an N7 and  was assigned to the Normandy-SR1 with Captain Anderson and Kaidan  Alenko . James  was happy for her and dreamed the same fate for him, but his military career was eating him alive, the training, the assignments, his duty… sometimes it was unbearable. The thought of Kaidan so  close to her and himself so far away made him bitter sometimes.  Hard believe in love when you could not  feel it, nor taste it. They tried to contact each other from time to time, sometimes with more luck than others, but he missed her badly .

The same year she became the first human spectre, he had to go to Fehl Prime, and he couldn’t even congratulate her, though he felt   happy for her. James always knew she would  accomplish meaningful things in her life. 

As for him, Fehl Prime changed him  in many ways,  he got commended and assigned to protect the colony when his squad repelled a Blood Pack raid in the area. Captain David Anderson himself came to commend him for his actions and he asked him  about Shepard, who had fought in the Battle of the Citadel and defeated Sovereign that same year. Anderson didn’t tell him much, just that she was fine and serving as Commanding Officer on the Normandy-SR1. James’ heart ached at the lack of news from her. It wasn’t their time yet, he thought.

Then everything went to hell before he could even foresee it. Shepard was dead. Missing in Action, presumed dead on  Alchera , the Normandy-SR1 destroyed by a collector's attack. 

He couldn’t believe it. When he listened to the  news he  almost ripped the television apart. He was angry, furious, inconsolable. What was to live for now? She was dead. He hadn’t seen her since the villa. His heart ached for her, he didn’t want to mourn her. 

James reached for Anderson, who told him  that  they hadn’t even found her body  to bury her. He was hopeless. James didn’t want to attend a ceremony with an empty casket. It didn’t do her justice. So, on his next shore leave, he traveled to the villa again. He cried  like a kid in front of the tree where he had last seen her, and despair took him  over .  There was no more love for him in the world.  An  awfully  empty galaxy was  all he had left. James went to the Hot Bird and stood near the jukebox. As a farewell, he played  _ Bell Bottom Blues _ just for her, wherever she was, he hoped she would listen to his cry.

James returned to his duty on Fehl Prime, and  almost two years after he had found out  about Shepard’s death, he heard rumors  that  she was alive. He didn’t believe it at first. The word was that Cerberus had rebuilt her from her remains, which made sense, since they didn’t bury a body, and that she was fighting along with them to defeat the collectors. James tried to reach her, but got nothing in return. Even Anderson confirmed that she was alive, but  that  she wasn’t an Alliance soldier anymore.

So, there he was, again, trying to recover from her death and now her indifference. But he still had his own share of misfortune to live through because the collectors attacked Fehl Prime, and none of his squad were ready.  James would never be the same after this.  Only one of his squad survived, he lost the whole colony trying to retrieve  intel on the collectors, and it tore him apart. The horrors he had to face alone, the decisions he had to make, and that she wasn’t with him.  All of it ruined what was left of him.  When they commended him again for what he had done, he felt empty and lonely. He ran away to Omega. Nothing mattered anymore whenever he had something important in his life he ended up being alone.  _ So be it _ , he thought. If he would live a miserable life, he would live it in Omega drinking, fighting, and playing poker. 

_ Fuck the Alliance, fuck Shepard and fuck the galaxy _ .

After that, he received an email from Shepard in the middle of the night, that reopened old wounds and formed new ones:

_ Dear James: _

_ I don’t know if this will get to you, but I need to tell you I am sorry.  _ _ I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise to stay safe. When I woke up, I wanted so  _ _ badly  _ _ to come back to you, to find you, but I couldn’t. I  _ _ was scared _ _ and I still am. I am so sorry I failed you. _

_ In an hour I am  _ _ about _ _ to fail you again because I will  _ _ be crossing _ _ the Omega 4 relay to destroy the Collectors for good. The Alliance wasn’t doing enough, and I had to join Cerberus. Nobody believes me, they even call me a traitor, but I have my reasons and I know you’d be the one to understand them. _

_ I wish you were here with me, or better, I wish I was there with you. Maybe in another life. I  _ _ was watching _ _ that stupid picture Harry took of us the day I became an N6, remember? The one where I look so ugly with that stupid smile and you look so sexy. That one.  _ _ And I asked myself: what would I do if I was about to die?  _ _ And it hit me. I’d be telling you  _ _ that  _ _ I love you, that you are the man of my life, and that I will never ever forget you no matter where I am, dead or alive. _

_ I love you, James. Please, forgive me. _

_ Forever yours, Riley Shepard. _

James cried inconsolably . “I love you too, Lola.” 

Soon after that, he found out Shepard’s suicide mission had been a success, and it was the only good news he had had in a very long time.  At least she was alive and kicking. His life in Omega  was sad and empty but it was bearable compared to the military where he thought his efforts were  all in vain. James wanted to contact Shepard, to send an answer to that last email she sent him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was nothing. He was a deserter and a low-life shit now. Shepard didn’t deserve that  kind of man at her side, and James wouldn’t allow her to see him  like this. 

He vanished from his old life, no one knew where to find him, not even his family. He forgot  about Shepard and everything that reminded him of her until her name hit the news again. They claimed she had destroyed a relay and killed thousands of  batarians in the process . That she was handing herself over to the Alliance for it. 

_ Mierda _ , he thought,  _ she is in real trouble now _ . 

He lost count of the bar fights he had to endure for defending her actions even if he didn’t know what had happened because he knew in his heart it had to  be done .  After all these years he still trusted her.  She was a good soldier, and she had an ugly task at hand in stopping the Reapers. James had worked so hard to live apart from  all that, but every time he heard Shepard’s name he turned his head around expecting to find her. 

James had hit rock bottom a long time ago.  There was no coming back for him anymore.  Hopeless and helpless, living a life that didn’t belong to him when Anderson found him.

“Son, you better chin up because I won’t let you rot in here forever. I owe her that much,” Anderson told him.

“If you ’re going to throw me in the brig just do it, but leave me alone.”  James was a shadow of the soldier he had wanted to be.

“I need you for a mission. Consider yourself reinstated, Lieutenant James Vega.” He  wasn’t going to give up that easily .

“A mission? I’m in no condition to…”

“It involves Shepard,” Anderson said.

“Shepard?” He didn’t need more. He knew he was in the second he heard her name.

“Come with me, Shepard is in trouble and she needs you.” Anderson didn’t say what he wanted to hear but James felt hope deep inside him.

“Why would she need someone  like me?” James  was scared of seeing her again and not finding love in her eyes anymore.  At least now he had the memories of what they had had.

“I need you to protect her,” Anderson told him. “We’re going to Vancouver.”

How do you say no to that? James couldn’t. Scared and damaged enough for her to just dismiss him.  She would see it in his eyes, the regret, the hurt, the lost years… and yet here he was, like a moth to the light, a door away from her.  His heart was thumping in his chest as though it wanted to get out and run. 

Anderson opened the door to get into the apartment and then James saw her, sitting on the couch near the window. It had been five years since he had kissed her under that tree.  Five long years since she had left, died, and came back to life.  And yet, after  all the yearning, he smiled at the sight of her the same way you smile to a sad song or an old familiar smell from your childhood. He walked to her.

“James Vega,” she said with a smile and stood. James thought she was even more  beautiful now, fine lines adorning her face, eyes  sweet but sad at the same time. Life hadn’t  been kind to her either. She had been as lonely as him, he  suddenly  realized.

“Lola.” The memories overwhelmed him, seeing her again after  all this time. “You’ve been busy,” he said.  He had to get used again to the melody of her voice and the proximity of her body.  She looked  like a ghost. He  was even afraid to touch her in case she vanished.

“You’ve been busy yourself, Vega,” Shepard said. James saw her chest  going up and  down faster.

“I’ll leave you two alone, so you can catch up,” Anderson said, and he left them in the apartment. James remembered how many times he had asked Anderson  about Shepard, how many times he had confessed his worries for her, his love for her even.  He had been a shoulder to cry on on many occasions.

They were steps apart. James looked in her watery eyes. “Lola,” he said, and took a step towards her. She closed the distance in a second, crashing against him, gasping as he held her tightly . He kissed her head. “You  have no idea how much I’ve missed you, Shepard.”

“As much as I’ve missed you,” she said, breaking the hug, a little embarrassed. He took her hand, and they sat on the couch. They stared at each other for a while trying to recognize themselves in the other. James had his doubts if this was a dream or not until she took his hand into her lap. Beautiful cold hands.

“You’re as  beautiful as always, Lola,” he said, looking at her.

“ A bit older, and beaten  up .” She reached to touch the scar on his lip. “You got your share of scars too.”

James  shyly  looked  down . “Yeah, I have.” 

_ The bigger ones are those you can’t see _ , he thought.

“I  like them, they suit you,” she told him. “Hey, still rocking that mohawk and driving the girls crazy, Vega?”

“There’s only one I’m  really  interested  in .” You have no doubts when you’re in front of the love of your life and he had never been shy to speak his mind.

“Lucky girl, I bet.” They laughed. James recognized that sweet laugh he had heard so many times  before . “I  like your new tattoo,” she said, touching his neck faintly . A shiver ran through James’ spine when he felt her  cold fingers against his skin, the memory of her touch burning into him and making his heart beat again at her pace.

“I got it after Fehl Prime,” his eyes  were sad and full of regret. “So I wouldn’t forget. The hardest years of my life.”

“I know.” She kissed his hand. “I’m so sorry, James.” She was  about to cry. “When I came back, I mean, when I woke up, I wanted to see you, I  really  wanted to, but the Collectors, and the suicide mission, Cerberus…” Shepard choked on her own words.

“Shepard, you died,” James said, and it made her shed tears. “When I heard  that  you died on the news, I went to the villa, I went to the Hot Bird and I played Bell Bottom Blues for you one more time. And still, I never got over your death,” he confessed.

“James…” she cried against his shoulder, and James cried too, smelling her hair, kissing her forehead and holding her.

“Those were the worst two years of my life.  I couldn’t bare myself, I couldn’t  be happy without you even If I tried, I swear to you I tried.” He looked at her. “Then I heard you were alive, and the Collectors attacked the colony. I couldn’t save anyone. I let them  all die.” Shepard held him tighter, and James felt his pain ease at her touch  like a huge weight  lifted from his shoulders.

“I’ve missed you every day of my life, James, and I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most.” Her voice was cracking against his shoulder.

“I’ve missed you too,” he said, taking her chin in his hand, “I knew I’d see you again, I had to believe it.  It was the only thing that kept me going, and you’re here now, that’s what matters.”

“James, am I sober enough?” 

He smiled at her, tears  all over her face and eyes.

She tasted  like salt and regret, he pressed his lips against hers and it was  like going back to when he was twenty years old, at their first kiss in that bar where everything had started. He gave in and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue tease her lips and he felt her mouth open to him, waiting for him. How long they had waited for this. James knew it had to happen, he knew they would be together again, but now  all he felt for her came back in a wave of uncontrollable emotions as he kissed her.

“ I never stopped loving you.  I still love you, Lola and I always will,” he said it as if it was the first time, with fear and madness tinging his words.

“ I love you too,” she gasped. “ I don’t want to be without you, never again, no matter what,” she swore.

“ I belong to you, I’ve never been so sure of  anything in my life,” James said while she straddled him, her weight so familiar to him  that  he  was astonished . She cupped his face with her hands. 

“I knew your hands would be cold,” he chuckled as she kissed his lips and his scars. So many years of longing, so many years of waiting for her, wondering where and who she’d be with. All that was over now. She was here, and he was holding her and never letting go of her again.

“Vega, you got more muscles,” she said while touching his shoulders and arms.  James thought he might be in heaven because this was too good to be true.  After  all the pain and the lonely years waiting for her, mourning her and looking for her, she was right in front of him.

“Don’t you  like them?” A half smile on his face.  He thought he had forgotten how to smile and there he was, like the last five years never happened, like he just woke up from a long nightmare to the sweetest dream of all.  To her.

“Do you know how to put them to a good use?”  Shepard arched an eyebrow at him. She was still the same hot-headed girl, impatient and lustful that knew how to show him how much she loved him. How much she cared.

This was their time again and no one would take them apart, not the Alliance, nor the Reapers.  They would fight together, die together, or live together, but never alone because there was no way James would let this woman slip from his arms again. 

She was his.

She had always been his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my first fic ever and, though it is poorly written and has a lot of flaws, I am very fond of it. It made me work very hard for many months, it made me cry, and it made me laugh. 
> 
> I wish you enjoyed the ride <3
> 
> Now whenever I listen to Bell Bottom Blues I think about them! <3


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